Saturday, September 21st, 2019
Shalimar, FL
It’s 8am EST and I am waking up in the Bob Hope Village retirement community. I am staying in a designated guest apartment, which has the exact same setup as a resident’s apartment. As I am getting ready, I particularly enjoy the extra-large bathroom, which is almost as big as the kitchen.
Once I am ready for the day, I find some packets of coffee grounds and make myself a cup. I slowly sip the hot coffee while watching the incredibly bright sun beams down onto the front lawn.
By 9am I am dutifully knocking on my grandmother’s door. She is still getting ready and asks me to help with the budgeting and cash management for the day. She hands me an envelope of cash and assures me that I should not feel guilty about spending money today. She is speaking my language.
Today we are celebrating my grandmother’s 93rd birthday at the Atmore Casino in Alabama. It’s about a 2-hour drive away, so we still have time for brunch in Shalimar.
By 10am I am loading up my grandmother’s walker into the rental car. She requests a stop at Sally’s Beauty Supply for some hairspray and I comply. I end up buying a pair of sunglasses for myself. Arriving here without sunglasses was a small side effect of taking a flight that left before sunrise.
The next stop is brunch. My grandmother suggests a French bakery, which is one of her favorite places. When we arrive I realize there are no low-carb options and I immediately make the decision to go all in. After all, today is a celebration. I order a cappuccino and 2 cream puffs and am incredibly satisfied. I also grab a coffee to go before starting the 2-hour drive to Atmore.
The drive is really nice. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a road trip and I am enjoying the relaxed conversation. When we arrive at the casino, my grandmother informs me that I need to check in to get a player’s card and tickets to the buffet. She tells multiple employees that it’s her 93rd birthday and probably her last trip to the casino. I try to keep a straight face, but it’s incredibly funny to watch their faces oscillate between forced empathy and utter discomfort. Well, I guess we’ll have to find a new casino next year.
We start off with a lap around the casino floor. It’s all penny slot machines, which is exactly where my grandmother excels in gambling. Since I am in charge of the cash, I start each of us off with 3 20 dollar bills. At first, I cheer my grandmother on and only push the button on my machine every once in a while. I really do not want to burn through all of her birthday cash and I know from previous experience that I do not excel in the art of penny slot machine gambling. Eventually, she catches on and tells me to stop being a wimp. Fine. I start playing for real.
After a few hours of breaking even, my grandmother wants to go into the high limit room. I have never been in a high limit room and decide this is a good idea. On the way in my grandmother explains to the attendant that she’s 93 years old and this is her last trip to the casino. We both sit a machine with a $5 minimum bet. I feel sick to my stomach as I hand my grandmother a crisp, twenty-dollar bill. I hold my breath as she pushes the button and it’s gone within seconds. We spend another 10 minutes and $80 in the high limit room. Eventually, I am able to guide her back to the penny slots. That was the most stress that I’ve experienced in a while.
Near the end of the day, I start winning a lot. I win back all of my investment, plus $60. When I cash out, I’m actually given a $100 bill. I take like 10 selfies with my winnings. This was fun.
The next stop is the dinner buffet. We have tickets for the full buffet plus two buckets of crab legs, my grandmother’s favorite food. We start off with the crab legs. We are both given a pair of seafood scissors but, honestly, neither of us knows what to do with them. My grandmother says there is a trick to getting the meat out, but she doesn’t remember what it is.
Eventually, a kindhearted waitress comes to our table and gives us both a lesson on eating crab legs. By the end of the bucket, we are both experts. I am secretly happy to have learned this lesson in Alabama, clad in anonymity.
After the crab legs, I fill my plate with a variety of fantastic food including baked clams, smoked sausage, and crab au gratin, which is basically crab meat with queso on top... and a surprisingly good idea. I even manage to save room for the dessert bar, where I find a no-bake cookie. This takes me back to my childhood in Tennessee. I have not seen a no-bake cookie in at least 20 years. I am unreasonably happy about this.
By 6pm we are back on the road to Shalimar. Around 8pm, just as it’s getting dark, we arrive home. This is the perfect time to open the bottle of wine that I bought last night. my grandmother insists that I sit in the comfortable chair, while she takes the couch. I am tired, perfectly relaxed and the wine is delicious.
By the time I leave, security has already closed the lobby for the evening. A guard has to escort me out of the front door and I am worried that he’ll know I and my grandmother have been drinking. Spending time in a retirement community sure can sure make you feel like a kid again.
I easily make it back to my guest apartment and quickly fall asleep for the evening. What a fun day.
