There's nothing wrong with communism-themed travel.

Tuesday, August 27th, 2019 

Prague, Czech Republic and Los Angeles, CA

It’s 8am and I am waking up. Today I will fly back to Los Angeles and I am already feeling sad. We spend almost a full hour getting ready and packing up my large backpack. I somehow manage to fit 2 liters of beer into my pack, but now I can barely pick it up. 

Around 9am, Sarah and I sit down for breakfast. I spend most of the time organizing photos and documenting various activities. 

By 10am we walking to the metro. This hotel is the farthest from the metro of any hotel that we’ve stayed in and my backpack is the heaviest it’s ever been. It’s a rough commute, but we finally arrive at the airport at 11am. It takes a few minutes to figure out where to check-in and, once I find it, I learn that it will not open for another 30 minutes. I sit quietly at a Starbucks while Sarah completes her check-in process. 

Eventually, the line opens ups. Check-in goes quickly but I am sent to a special area to drop my bag since it’s so heavy. I knew it was extra heavy and a small part of me feels validated that the Prague airport agrees. 

Next, we pass through a passport verification checkpoint. My immigration officer smiles when he sees my stamp from Cuba and mentions that it sounds like a fun trip. I think that he may be making fun of my interest in communism-themed travel, but I beam with pride nonetheless; that is my favorite stamp. 

I quickly pass through security and walk Sarah to her gate, where there is another security checkpoint. After only 20 minutes, it’s time for Sarah to start boarding, we say our goodbyes and I meander to my own gate. My flight is slightly delayed, but I still make it to London in time to catch the next flight. 

The final flight home is very nice. I am seated in business class and am served an amazing lunch of stewed beef and veggies, with several glasses of wine. I watch a few movies and take a long nap. 

I arrive in LA in the late afternoon and have just enough time for dinner and some TV, before an early bedtime. As I lay in bed I think that Eastern Europe was the perfect mix of alcohol, sausage and art.  

Asleep at the dinner table

Monday, August 26th, 2019 

Prague, Czech Republic

It’s 9:30am CES and I am slowly waking up. We take our time getting ready for the day and am eating breakfast at the hotel by 10:15am. The breakfast area is crowded and the coffee comes out of a machine in single servings. As I wait patiently for my turn, I start to miss Los Angeles, land of the 20 ounce, to-go cup of coffee. Eventually, it's my turn and I am rewarded with 4 ounces of black coffee. 

As Sarah and I eat breakfast together, she points out a cat-shaped decanter on the bar across the room. This place is cute. 

After breakfast we head over to Petrin Hill, which is a big hill in the middle of town, with a large, metal tower on top, that is shaped like the Eiffel tower. The walk to the bottom of the hill is easy. When we arrive at the base, we find the funicular, along with a very long line of tourists waiting for a ride to the top of the hill. We decide to walk. 

The path up the hill is charming. We pass by several statues and viewpoints. At one point we pass an empty beer garden that is attached to someone’s house. We vow to stop here on the way back. About 30 minutes later, we arrive at the top of the hill. I am surprised to find a miniature complex of ice cream and drink carts, a small church, and a rose garden. 

First things first, we check-in at the tower. For a small fee, we can take a series of elevators and stairs to the top of the tower where we’ll be rewarded with a panoramic view of Prague. We take the elevator to the first observation deck. The view is nice, but we want to go all the way to the top. Sarah and I embark on a narrow spiral staircase. At first, we are surrounded by solid walls, but as we approach the top, the stairs continue to narrow and the walls are replaced by a cage. Wow, we are far up. I am not prepared for the sense of panic that suddenly overcomes me. I power through to the top but am unable to lose contact with the inner wall to fully enter the viewing area. It’s okay though, I can see plenty from my current position. I force myself to take a picture, even though my brain and my stomach are screaming at me to get back down. 

Once we are back on the ground I feel relief and then am immediately overcome with thirst. It’s getting hot outside and I have not drank any water today. I buy a few bottles of water and then wander over to the rose garden. The view is amazing and Sarah and I take some time to sit on a park bench and enjoy nature. 

On the way back down the hill, we stop at the small beer garden and appear to be the first customers of the day. That’s okay though, it’s five o clock somewhere. We order two beers and sit at the table with the best view. The decor is super kitschy and the view of Prague is amazing. On a whim I decide that I would like to have dessert for lunch, a trdelnik to be specific. Sarah agrees this is a good idea and we finish the walk to the bottom of the hill. 

On the way to the main square we stop in a quaint candy shop, that’s in the shape of a pirate’s ship. This is so cute, but I do not buy any candy. I am on a mission for a grander dessert. When we finally arrive at the main square there are at least 5 trdelnik stands to choose from. A trdelnik is a dessert built for people on vacation. It's essentially a cone-shaped donut, filled with whipped cream and a fruit of your choice. I choose strawberry. 

We spend the rest of the afternoon wandering the streets of Prague and attempting to shop. I am prepared to buy clothes and would like to find something unique, but am just not inspired. Around 4pm we decide that it’s time to try out some of the famous Prague breweries. 

First stop is U Fleku. This is one of the oldest breweries in Europe, having been in operation for over 500 years. It’s actually more of a complex than a brewery with 9 different beer halls. We opt to sit outside in the beer garden and easily find seats at the end of a long picnic table. This brewery only sells one kind of beer, which is dark and keeps track of the bill by giving us a piece of paper and adding tallies each time we’re served a round. I start my first beer and sadly it’s not very good. Sarah also points out a strange smell that I can all of the sudden not ignore. After one round we attempt to close out our tab, but can not get a server to take our money. Eventually, we decide to walk out slowly and someone finally stops to take our payment. 

Well, that was a flop. Next, we try U Supu, which is a little newer, but still well known. We are shown to a nice table on the patio and offered a menu of beer from which we can actually choose the kind that we want. I already like this place better. I order an amber beer and it tastes amazing. The menu also looks great and we end up ordering a variety of cheese and sausage to share. Soon a Chinese family sits at the table next to us. I am worried it will get too loud, but instead, the opposite happens. I notice the matriarch of the family is asleep in her chair. I can relate. 

After a nice, long dinner I end up buying a few liters of beer to bring back home. Sarah and I walk back to the hotel to drop off the beer and then decide to take a walk by the river. We quickly find a little pub, with lawn chairs sitting right next to the river. Sarah and I grab two chairs, which are incredibly comfortable. We slowly sip on beer, while watching the riverboats pass by. 

Around 10pm we decide to continue the adventure down the river to a wall of Beatles-themed graffiti known as the John Lennon wall. The surrounding neighborhood is cute and eventually, we find the wall. We try taking a few photos, but the light is too low for any of them to come out. 

We slowly meander back through town to the hotel. I am tired and tomorrow will be a long day. 

Did not see that coming

Sunday, August 25th, 2019 

Vienna, Austria and Prague, Czech Republic

It’s 9am CES and I am waking up after a great night’s sleep. By 9:30am Sarah and I are at the hotel breakfast bar. I enjoy my standard breakfast of coffee and sausage while we plan out the day. 

The first stop is the imperial apartments at the Hofburg, located in the main square. It’s still early when we arrive, so the wait for tickets is only a few minutes. The Hofburg was previously an imperial palace, where the Habsburg dynasty lived in the winter. Today it is part museum and part residence and office to the President of Austria. 

Our tour encompasses 18 rooms, mostly dedicated to working space, dining rooms, and living areas of the Hapsburg family. One of the rooms was the dedicated dressing room for Empress Sisi, where she spent hours each morning having her ankle-length hair attended to. 

After the tour, we realize that our tickets also allow entrance to the museum’s silver collection. We spend about 30 minutes wandering around various rooms. I do not bother reading the history behind the collection, instead, I just appreciate its sheer opulence.

We spend the rest of the morning at a nearby coffee shop. The service is incredibly slow, but our server is very charming and explains that her dream is to move to California and practice yoga. I can tell that she would fit right in. 

After coffee, we walk back to the main street to do some light shopping before lunch. I want to find something to bring back for my coworkers, but all of the souvenir shops are filled with junk. Eventually, Sarah and I get the idea to go to a local grocery store to find tea and chocolate. Sarah directs us into a store called Billa. This is one of the main grocery stores in Austria. I am immediately excited - this store is at least two-thirds meat and cheese! I pick out some tea and chocolates and am very happy with my purchase. 

We have time for lunch and a beer before our train to Prague. We stop at the first cafe that we see. The menu has a dish that translates to “floating sausage” and I can not help but order it. My plate arrives with a small bowl with a lid. When I open the lid I am surprised to find a singular piece of sausage afloat in a clear broth. Honestly, I did not see that coming. 

Lunch is okay but takes longer than expected. Sarah and I quickly return to the hotel to get our bags and then take the subway back to the main station. Soon we are aboard the train to Prague. 

The train ride is 4 hours. I drink a few beers but mostly stare out of the window. I am happy to be sitting down. It's 9pm by the time we arrive in Prague. We quickly check into our hotel and then start looking for a cafe for dinner. To our surprise nothing close by is open. We eventually find a diner in another hotel. I order a cheeseburger and a glass of chardonnay. The diner turns out to be very charming and, against all odds, Sarah and I enjoy a nice, long dinner. 

By the time we are done, it’s 11:30pm. We walk back to the hotel and order 2 more glasses of wine. Just as we are opening the door to the hotel courtyard, we are informed that it’s closed and we have to stay in the indoor bar area. The music inside is loud and slow, but we make the best of it. By midnight we are heading upstairs to go to sleep. 

The tragedy of Sisi

Saturday, August 24th, 2019 

Vienna, Austria 

It’s 6:45am CES and we are waking up extra early to beat the crowds to the Schönbrunn Palace. At 7am, sharp Sarah and I are at the hotel breakfast buffet. Over a few cups of amazing coffee, we discover that we can buy timed tickets for the palace online for a discount. We decide to purchase tickets for 10am to allow time to walk through the gardens before it gets too hot outside. After a very satisfying breakfast, we start the process of taking multiple trams to get to the Palace, which is located just outside of town. 

We arrive by 8:45am and have just the right amount of time to wander the courtyard and large garden behind the palace. While the garden has some splashes of flowers and color, it’s mostly well-manicured lawns and straight lines of trees. Nonetheless, the open space is beautiful and mostly devoid of tourists. 

Around 10am we start our tour of the palace. We are shuffled through 40 different rooms, including the private apartments for Emperor Franz Joseph and Empress Elisabeth. Most of the tour focuses on Elisabeth, who was also called Sisi. She was reluctant to accept court life but was loved dearly by the people and her husband. She gave birth to four children, three daughters and one son, who tragically died in a murder-suicide pact with his mistress at age 30. Sisi was murdered by an Italian anarchist at age 60.  

At 11:30am we are ready to leave the palace just a the crowds are pouring in. I am feeling grateful for the early start to our day. We head back to the main part of town and find a well-shaded cafe for lunch. I order a salad with tuna and sparkling water. I find this is a welcome departure from almost a full week of sausage and beer. 

After lunch, we go to the St Stephansplatz cathedral. It’s crowded, but we successfully shuffle around the perimeter, while Sarah points out items of interest using Rick Steve’s guidebook. The cathedral is grand and I take several photos of the art and architecture. 

Next, we stop for a cappuccino break. It’s nice to sit down for a minute and the caffeine reinvigorates us for the rest of the day. 

We make one last stop in the main square at St Peter’s cathedral, for a free bout of organ music. We arrive early and get a good seat in the pews. The music starts off quiet but eventually fills the entire room with organ pipes that are larger than any I have ever seen. 

Now that it’s almost 5pm, it’s time to go to the Vienna wine gardens, a place that has been at the top of my list for a while. Sarah and I take a series of trams to get out of town and to the first and largest wine garden called, Heuriger Kierlinger. Most of the seating is outside in a medium-sized courtyard filled with plants and vintage decorations. It feels rustic and I am charmed. There is a family, clearly, locals, celebrating a birthday close by and I am immediately jealous of their lifestyle. As it turns out, the wine is just okay, but the ambiance makes up for it. After one glass I am starting to get hungry and we decide to move on to another place for dinner. 

Next stop is Mayer Am Pfarrplatz. As we walk up a small hill on a deserted cobblestone street, I suddenly feel like we are really off the beaten path. We pass some empty apartment buildings with broken windows and in the diffused dusk light I think that it’s really pretty. When we enter Mayer, it becomes clear where all the people are. There are no cars or even bicycles out front and I silently try to figure out where they came from. 

We are seated at a long picnic table near the back. The wine menu here is much more robust and I order a red blend and Sarah orders a Pinot Noir. I love my wine and eventually am so hungry that I brave the cafe to order food at the counter. The language barrier is severe as Sarah and I just point at things in the deli case. I end up with blood sausage, sauerkraut, and a cheese plate. It's pretty much exactly what I wanted and I am feeling proud. 

After a few more rounds of wine, I wander back into the cafe to attempt to order dessert. I get the items to which I pointed but am ultimately disappointed in the dry, overly sweetened pastries. Sarah points out a small apartment attached to the outside of the main structure and says that it's Beethoven’s old apartment. It turns out that he summered here and, in 1817, worked on his ninth symphony while staying in this very apartment. 

Eventually, it becomes dark outside and I am feeling very tired. I convince Sarah to peek into one more heuriger, called Zimmermann, but ultimately we agree to not drink any more wine. 

We find our way back to central Vienna and decide to stop at the outdoor film fest to see what’s going on. It is Saturday night, after all. 

We drink one round of beer while watching the locals watch a movie in German. Around 11pm we walk back to the hotel. Today was a long day and we are beat.  

I'll have 2 of your best sausages and a bottle of champagne, please.

Friday, August 23rd, 2019 

Budapest, Hungary and Vienna, Austria 

It's 9am CES and I am slowly waking up. Laura has already left for her flight back to Austin. Sarah and I get ready for the day and then find a cafe that is just crowded enough to suggest good food. Brunch is long but also relaxing. We sit on the sidewalk, people watch and remain completely charmed by the streets of Hungary. 

After we finish brunch, we go back to the hotel to pick up our bags for our train to Vienna. The train ride lasts about 2.5 hours, of which I mostly listen to music. Once we are checked into our hotel in Vienna, it’s 2pm and extremely hot outside. We unanimously decide that it’s time for a beer break. We pick a cafe solely based on the amount of shade and luck out by finding one nestled in between two tall buildings. 

Sarah and I relax over 2 rounds of perfectly chilled, Austrian beer. We also take some time to organize our pictures, which are numerous and very repetitive. Eventually, we decide to head over to the Albertinaplatz art museum. 

The galleries are filled with Picassos and even some other artists that I know like Monet and Much. It’s nice to be out of the sun for a little bit and I am truly impressed by their collection. 

After the art museum, we decide that it’s time for dinner. Sarah and I walk to one of the many sausage carts in the main square. We each order 2 sausages and a small bottle of champagne. The price is higher than we expected, but we really want champagne and sausage, so we follow through. We sit on the steps of a large statue and take like 10 photos of each other. This is honestly one of the coolest of dinners that I’ve ever had. 

Now that day is starting to cool off, we walk to the main park for the Vienna film festival, which is free and open to the public. We enter into a courtyard lined with beer vendors and food trucks. We buy a round of beer and easily find a place to sit and people watch. Almost an hour later, a movie starts, which is projected on the side of one of the government buildings. The movie is black and white and even though its in German, we can still kind of follow it. We enjoy making up the parts that we can’t understand. Around 11pm we are tired and head back to the hotel for a good night’s sleep. 

Surprise, smiles and laughter

Thursday, August 22nd, 2019 

Budapest, Hungary 

It’s 10am CES and I am so happy for a day to sleep in. We quickly get ready for breakfast and Sarah, Laura, and I are sitting down to eat by 10:30am. We are at an outdoor cafe in the park across from our hotel. We are nestled in between two very narrow streets and watch as the stores and cafes open up for the day. I am so charmed by this neighborhood and feel like we are in a scene in a Disney movie. The menu is small, and only has a few variations of a breakfast quesadilla. I order one and think this can not be the same kind of quesadilla that we would receive in Los Angeles, but it turns out that it is. It’s also just as delicious.

After we finish breakfast we go back to the hotel to get ready for a day at the spa. Today we are going to the Szechenyi Baths. It takes Sarah nearly 5 whole minutes to convince me that there will be regular-sized lockers there, and finally I agree to bring a small backpack. 

When we arrive at Szechenyi, it appears to be a big blob of pools and hot tubs and we take a full lap around the facility to get orientated. Basically, there is an outdoor area with 3 large swimming pools, which are surrounded by 2 curved buildings. One of which houses the locker rooms and 2 cafes and the other one, which houses a long line of hot tubs, saunas, steam rooms, and cold plunges. Laura suggests that we get into every hot tub and we agree that’s a good idea. 

We spend the next 2 hours hopping in and out of a variety of spa facilities. At one point we see a sign with an arrow to a “beer spa”, we decide to follow the arrow only to find another sign with another arrow. Five signs later, we arrive at a small room, with 2 wooden tubs, each filled with beer and a beer tap within reaching distance from both. A sign says that we can pay for 30 minutes in the beer tub and drink unlimited beer from the tap during that time. This sounds amazing, but we ultimately decline since we have big dinner planned and do not want to ruin it. 

Once we are done exploring all available hot tubs, we order a glass of wine and some fruit. There is stadium-style bench seating on the second floor of the cafe, which overlooks the entire facility. We sit there and discuss the day. My favorite part was watching all of the other tourists jump into the cold plunges. It doesn’t matter what country they were from, everyone made the same surprised face, immediately followed by a smile and laughter. 

After the spa, we head back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. It takes a while for all 3 of us to shower, dry our hair and finish getting ready. Honestly, though, we are grateful for the downtime. Once everyone is ready we start to meander to the restaurant. It’s a 20-minute walk, but we have an hour to kill. We stop at a gift store so that Laura can buy some souvenirs for her coworkers. I spend some time shopping as well and end up buying a T-shirt for myself. 

We end up arriving 10 minutes early at Costes Downtown. We are immediately greeted by a very friendly hostess and shown to the chef’s table. I had booked this reservation nearly 6 months ago and am so excited to see what will happen next. 

The chef comes out to greet us and then takes us on a tour of the kitchen. Next, he introduces us to his sommelier, who takes us into the wine cellar. He pours us each a small glass of champagne and serves a small bite to complement it. He gives a talk on the greatness of Hungary wine and we all smile and nod politely. After a few pictures, we are walked back to our table to begin the 5-course tasting menu. 

We are presented with plate after plate of teeny tiny food, and end up with 10 different tastings and 3 full glasses of wine when all is said and done. We are not sure how this adds up to a 5-course meal, but also do not want to look a gift horse in the mouth. By the time dinner is over, we are tired and full. But tonight is our last night in Budapest and we have to see the ruin bars. 

I use my phone GPS to direct the group to Szimpla Kert, which is the oldest and best-known ruin bar. As we get closer to our destination, we are joined by hoards of both locals and tourists going to the same area. I am still carrying my plastic bag from the souvenir shop and am starting to feel a little self-conscience. 

We enter into a large, open courtyard with little bars lining the perimeter. The entire place is covered in found items and it looks like a punked-out version of TGI Fridays. We stand in line for 10 whole minutes in an attempt to order a cocktail. Eventually, we give up our spot in line for another, less crowded bar. We quickly learn this bar only serves wine and we just go with it. Hungarian sparkly it is! 

The wine is terrible, there is nowhere to sit and it’s becoming increasingly loud and difficult to hear each other speak. After the first round, we decide to go back to the neighborhood by our hotel. We eventually wander into a bar called Red Ruin, which is just across the street from the hotel. It’s very metal-punk and I immediately regret ordering a drink that comes with ice. I try to drink my cocktail before the ice melts, but it’s strong and I fail. Around midnight they close the outdoor seating area but we are not ready to call it a night yet. 

Laura suggests we buy beer from a corner store and walk to the bridge. Sure, I think this is a good idea. We spend the rest of the night standing over the Danube River, exactly halfway in between Buda and Pest. We take a million pictures of the lit-up town and eventually we call it a night. Tomorrow Laura will return back to the US and Sarah and I will head to Vienna.  

A building built for art

Wednesday, August 21th, 2019 

Vienna, Austria and Budapest, Hungary 

It’s 7am CES and I am miserably tired and a little hungover. I drag myself out of bed and manage to steam out half of the wrinkles out of my jumpsuit before getting dressed for the day. Laura has opted to stay in bed for the morning and I really can’t blame her. By 7:30am Sarah and I are walking to Cafe Sacher for a piece of famous cake. Admittedly it’s early, but we do not want to wait in line and they open at 8am. 

By 8:05 we are seated at a small cafe that is covered in red and gold decor. We notice a few empty tables and we start to think that we may have overestimated the popularity of this cake. Sarah and I each order a piece of the famous cake, which is called a sachertorte. I also order a coffee with cream and Sarah gets a cappuccino. The sachertorte is a famous chocolate cake, which was invented by Franz Sacher, a kitchen apprentice, in 1832 to appease an Austrian prince. It’s chocolate cake with chocolate icing and a thin layer of apricot jam inside. If I’m being honest, I have to admit that the cake is just okay, but I am really enjoying the coffee.

After breakfast, we have a few hours to kill before our train to Budapest. We walk to the Kunsthistorisches Art Museum, which is just across from the old Hofburg Palace. We spend some time in the main square, which faces the palace. The square is a vast concrete space, scattered with statues. The palace clearly dominates the square and the whole area feels very imperialistic. 

Upon entering the Kunsthistorisches, we are immediately pushed into a state of awe. The entryway, by itself, is nothing short of grand. We are immediately met with a large marble statue of Theseus fighting a centaur. The building is round and 3 stories tall, with an open space in the middle of the first floor, which has a view all the way up to the bottom side of the dome, which crowns the building. The galleries feature art from all over the world, honestly, I am not familiar with any of the works, but I can tell that they are old and important. 

I point out that the heating ventilation runs through the center of the galleries and is disguised by plush, round viewing benches. Sarah says that this building was constructed for the specific purpose of showing art and we wonder if that’s why.  

Soon it’s time to return to the hotel, meet up with Laura, grab our bags, and head to the train station. We arrive with plenty of time to spare and end up buying a wiehnerschinitzel from a nondescript food stand. I am surprised when this turns out to be the best wiehnerschinitzel that I have ever had in my life. Damn, Vienna has good food. 

Soon we are on a train to Budapest. It’s a relatively short ride of 2.5 hours and we sit quietly listening to music for most of the time. When we arrive in Budapest, the hotel is nearly a 15-minute walk from the train station. We are tired and dehydrated but have no choice but to lug our bags through town. 

Once we are settled in the hotel room, we spend some time planning out the evening. Sarah finds a river cruise that leaves at 9pm and we pick out a restaurant called Chef’s Table for dinner. When we arrive, it’s clear this is a family restaurant, as the owner introduces us to his son, who will be a waiter for the night. They continuously joke with each other and the table throughout the dinner service. I order the roasted duck leg and it’s the best duck that I’ve ever had. For dessert, the table shares an apple strudel and a soufflé. I am so charmed by this restaurant that I have already elevated Budapest to my favorite city in eastern Europe.  

After dinner, we have some time for a quick walk by the river before we board our nighttime river tour. When we arrive we are surprised by the size of the boat, it looks like a small cruise ship! As we follow through the check-in process, however, we are eventually routed to another, much smaller boat, parked behind it. Marketing, I guess. 

It’s almost impossible to hear the tour guide over the boat’s motor, but nonetheless, the tour is awesome. The boat drives past the Buda Castle and it’s lit up just like a postcard. I take at least 30 pictures and am feeling incredibly happy. 

Once the boat tour is over we discuss the possibility of going to the ruin bars, but ultimately decide that it’s time to call it a night. We are beat but very excited for tomorrow, which will be a full day in Budapest. 

Never give a stranger your phone

Tuesday, August 20th, 2019 

Prague, Czech Republic and Vienna, Austria 

It’s 9am CES and, despite a good night’s sleep, I am feeling groggy. I quickly get out of bed and get ready for day 2 of vacation! We pack up our bags, leave them behind the front desk, and are in the basement for breakfast by 9:30am. 

I enjoy 2 full cups of drip coffee and a plate of cold cuts and cheese. I love a European breakfast and think about implementing something similar at home. Once we are done with breakfast, the group heads to the tram for Prague Castle. 

The line for Prague Castle looks long but moves very quickly. The security personnel are incredibly friendly and we are in the main courtyard before I know it. The castle was built in the 9th century and is the largest ancient castle in the world. Since it was rebuilt so many times, it represents almost every architectural style in the last thousand years. We move through each of the main rooms in a flurry of artifacts and decadence. Sarah even points out the hidden door, behind which, lies the Bohemian crown jewels. I think this is so cool. 

It’s starting to get really hot outside, but we only have a few more hours in Prague, so we decide to walk through the Jewish Quarter. The whole area is a pile of tourists and vendors. We walk past a few beautiful, historic synagogues and take some photos of the murals and statues that line the street. 

We have just enough time for a quick lunch of pizza and charcuterie before heading back to the hotel to pick up our bags. I call an Uber for a ride to the train station on my iPhone and it takes nearly 5 minutes for a driver to accept my ride. 10 minutes later the driver cancels. Uh oh. It’s getting close to the time that my train will leave and we are at least a 30-minute tram ride to the station. I tell my friends that the Uber is not coming and we all come to the conclusion that the group should walk really fast to the station. I load up my backpack onto my back and start trudging over the cobblestone roads in my paper-thin sandals. 

Drenched in sweat and in a state of forced calmness, I walk onto the train platform, just as boarding begins. Oh man, that was close. 

The train is packed and I sit in my assigned seat, which is at a 4 person table with my 2 friends. I awkwardly have to push my knees to the side in order to fit. Soon another woman sits in the 4th seat. The entire train ride is 4 hours. We use this time to reconcile expenses from Prague, drink some wine and take Buzzfeed quizzes on Laura’s phone.    

When we arrive in Vienna it is already dark but, luckily, we are only a 5-minute walk from the hotel. We quickly drop our bags, change clothes and then walk over to a recommended restaurant for a late dinner. The server recommends a bottle of white wine and after tortured contemplation, I order the goulash. The wine and food is fantastic. For dessert, I accidentally order a dish of sweet potato noodles. They are weird, but it was fun to try something new. 

After dinner, Sarah opts for bed and Laura and I decide to stay out for a few drinks. We start out at a sidewalk cafe close to the hotel. I order a vodka soda, which comes out a little weak. When I complain to Laura the server overhears and offers to add more vodka. I love this place! The new drink is incredibly strong and I am drunk in like 15 minutes. 

After the sidewalk cafe closes Laura and I wander around to see what else is going on. We find a place called Loos American Bar, which is open late. It’s packed and there is no outdoor seating, but we decide to stay for one drink anyways. Some of the locals start chatting Laura and I up. Almost immediately one of them asks to see my phone, to which I respond, no. The conversation is lively and fun, but when one of the locals makes an obvious pass at me by saying that I can’t be more than 27 years old, I tell Laura that it’s time to go. She’s slightly resistant, but the bar is about to close anyway. 

I walk back to the hotel and I am asleep before I hit the bed. 

A tale of two monasteries

Monday, August 19th, 2019 

Prague, Czech Republic 

It’s 9:30am CES and I am wavering in and out of a state of deep, melatonin-induced sleep. I keep thinking that I am awake and getting ready but I am still dreaming. Eventually, I drag myself out of bed. Laura and Sarah are almost completely ready. I quickly get ready and then head to the basement of the hotel for breakfast. 

I am ecstatic to find a station of self-serve, drip coffee. The plates are small and I fill mine up with cold cuts, cheese and a boiled egg. 

Today we will attempt a self-guided, urban hike to 2 of Prague’s most famous monastery breweries. After breakfast, I make a quick stop at the town square for a look at the astronomical clock. We continue past several beer spas and a puppet store on the way to the train station. As an afterthought, we pick up our tickets for the train to Vienna, for tomorrow afternoon. One train and one tram later we are at the starting point for the walk, located on the west side of town. 

The walk starts along a quiet, tree-lined path. It soon meanders into a residential area and around an empty schoolyard. As we pass by an old cemetery, we stop for a look. The land is terraced and overgrown with plant life. The cloud-covered sky and general stillness of everything makes it feel as though we just stepped into the opening scene of a horror movie. 

Eventually, we approach the Brevnov Monastery. We spend some time exploring the garden; the area is completely silent and it’s starting to feel like we are the only 3 people on the planet. Once we are sure that we’ve seen everything on the grounds, we go into the pub to sample the beer. I am feeling adventurous and order something called “pork scratchings with chop onion”. Laura and Sarah swear they will not try any, but I don’t care. 

The beer is surprisingly refreshing, though the food turns out to be chilled fat with something crunchy mixed into it. I smile and power through nearly one-third of the appetizer before finally giving up. 

Soon we are off to the second brewery of the day. We pass through a large garden and eventually end up in another residential neighborhood. We follow a cobblestone street into an ally way where we are basically walking only a few feet from people’s back doors. The path wanders through a smaller, more urban park and eventually down to the main road. We follow that street to the end, where we meet a long, steep stairwell, at the top we find the Strahov Monastery. 

This monastery is substantially more populated than the first and we have to wait in a short line to buy tickets to see the library. The Strahov Library is old and famous; we are able to view manuscripts printed as early as the 1500s. There are a few other churches that are also open for viewing. 

Eventually, we wander into the brewery. The outside seating area is vast and has an amazing view of the city. We find a table with an unobstructed view and order a round of beer. After a long morning of walking, it’s nice to sit back and relax. A little mouse scurries under the table, but I am so tired that I can only prop my feet up on the lowest rung of the fence next to my chair. After a brief discussion about visiting the Petrin Tower, we decide to take the tram back to old town instead. 

As we exit the tram, we are immediately greeted with a row of outdoor pubs, set against the Vltava river. We can not resist sitting at one of the tables and ordering another round of beer. We watch the paddle boats float by as the sun begins to set. We even see some nutria hanging out by the river and take like 15 pictures of them. By the time my beer is empty, we’ve made the decision to rent a paddleboat. 

The boat is fun and we are on the river when the sun officially sets for the day. The air quickly chills and once we are off of the boat, the group is in agreement that is it definitely time for dinner. We sit at one of the hundreds of cafes in old town. Everything is crowded and we end up sharing a large table with a couple who smokes the entire time. I order roasted pork and potato dumplings, which are just okay in my opinion. Laura and Sarah enjoy their food much more. After dinner, we decide that it’s time for dessert. We want to try trdelniks, which are basically phallic-shaped pastries, with a donut-like shell, filled with whipped cream, ice cream, nuts and fruit. It’s everything that I hoped it would be. 

It’s nearing midnight and I am drunk and bloated from dessert. We wander over to the main bridge. The lights of the bridge and the town reflect into the river, creating a scene of such beauty and wonderment that I take about 50 pictures in an attempt to capture this moment.

Eventually, we go back to the hotel. I load up on more melatonin and fall asleep immediately. 

More Pokemon Go and teeny, tiny coffees

Sunday, August 18th, 2019

London, UK and Prague, Czech Republic

It’s 2:25pm GMT and my plane is landing in London. My head is foggy as I fumble around my carry-on for the European SIM that I purchased on Amazon. I find the card but left the tool at home and have no way to remove the existing SIM card. Eventually, I get off of the plane and have a little over 1 hour to kill before my next flight leaves. I wander around the international terminal for a while and then into Boots, the local travel store. There is an attendant dedicated to the cell phone section and I politely ask if he’ll help switch out my SIM card and he agrees. Yes! I am back online. 

I check in to the American airport lounge and are immediately underwhelmed. It looks like a break room at a Nordstroms in Texas. I pour a teeny, tiny cup of coffee from the automated coffee machine and find a seat by the window. I spend my time listening to music, playing Pokemon Go, and making multiple trips back to the coffee machine. At 4:30 pm I make my way to the gate for my flight into Prague. 

After a quick 2 hour flight, I have officially arrived! The immigration line is short, but it moves slowly. Once I grab my bag I start to look for my driver from the hotel. I make a few passes through the arrivals hall and am starting to get worried when I finally see a sign that reads “Sarah Hymes”. Sarah is my long-time friend and travel buddy and has already arrived at the hotel earlier today. I try to explain to the driver that I am ready to go, but she insists on waiting for the other two guests since the hotel room was booked for 3. Eventually, I convince her that the others have already arrived, but she still seems suspect as she drives me through Prague to the Hotel Liliova. 

By the time I make it up to the hotel room, it’s 9:30pm. The lights are on but both of my friends are in bed, asleep. They groggily greet me and I announce that I’ll be eating dinner and drinking a beer before bed. I insist that they should both sleep, but Laura drags herself out of bed to join you. I  am secretly grateful. 

The block by our hotel is packed with cafes, all of which are still open. We pick an outside table and immediately order a cold beer. Laura orders fried cheese and I choose rabbit remoulade. We catch up and I can’t help but notice that Laura’s eyes are really red, I feel bad for dragging her out of bed, but later I’ll learn it was actually a reaction to the material on her new airplane pillow. Around midnight we turn in for the night. I plan on getting a full 8 hours of sleep before starting our first full day of vacation. 

Chardonnay, cake and pancakes

Saturday, August 17th, 2019

Los Angeles, CA and London, UK

It’s 4pm and I am already calling a Lyft to the airport for my 8pm flight to Prague. I am over-prepared and literally have nothing else to do. My plane ticket affords me access to the Oneworld Business Lounge, so I resolve to arrive early and get a little drunk. 

My Lyft driver is totally weird and makes a few offensive racist comments on the way to the airport. I gently explain to him that his previous rider’s taste in music has no bearing on his intellect or ability to function in society. I am sure that my words fell on deaf ears. 

Check-in and security move extremely quickly and I am soon entering the Oneworld Business Lounge. The space is huge, at least 4 times the size of a standard airport lounge and there are a ton of places to sit. I pour I myself a glass of chardonnay from the self-serve bar, sit near a corner, and shamelessly people-watch while catching the rouge pokemon on my Pokemon Go app. Eventually, I  grab some desserts from the dessert bar and even make one pancake using the self-serve, pancake-making machine. This place is so cool.  

Fully loaded on chardonnay, cake, and pancakes I  eventually make my way to the gate, just as the plane is boarding. My seat, located in business class, is phenomenal. I am next to the window and my seat adjusts in all sorts of positions, including completely flat. I  sip on champagne as the flight boards and eventually settle in with some bad romantic comedies. 

After dinner, I  hydrate excessively and throw back a few melatonin. Soon I easily drift to sleep. I  am almost halfway there.