Three travel mishaps in one day

Monday, December 2nd, 2019 

St. Paul, MN and Los Angeles, CA

It’s 8am CST and I am waking up for my second attempt to fly home. I quickly get ready and walk to the lobby to check out the breakfast buffet. It looks good, but I can not bear to eat anything this early. I fill up your tumbler with coffee and head back to my room. I am slowly getting ready when suddenly the electricity goes out. Luckily, I am mostly ready for the day and am able to use natural light to finish up. 

I’m in the lobby just in time for my scheduled airport shuttle at 9am. Airport security takes less than 20 minutes. I even have time to enjoy a short breakfast at the most efficient airport cafe that I have ever visited. 

While approaching the gate I realize that I cannot retract the handle for my carry-on suitcase. There is no way that this will fit into the overhead bin. I begrudgingly gate check the bag and feel guilty about passing a faulty bag onto the baggage handlers.

We arrive in LA as scheduled. It doesn’t take too long to acquire my damaged bag at baggage claim. The non-retracting handle is now broken off completely. I awkwardly roll your bag nearly half a mile to the rideshare pick-up area.  

The drive home is short and when I arrive the lockbox is jammed. Luckily I am still able to use my phone to buzz myself into my apartment. 

It’s now 2pm on the day after I was meant to come home. I am happy to be here, but vow to never vacation anywhere cold ever again. 

A snow-related debacle

Sunday, December 1st, 2019 

Rapid City, SD and St. Paul, MN

It’s 8 am MST and I am waking up to the end of a 24-hour blizzard. The weather forecast suggests that conditions will be good enough to fly out of Rapid City at my scheduled time of 7 pm. 

At 9 am I meet my parents in the lobby for breakfast. I sit by the window and stare at large drifts of snow. Snowplows have created pathways to the roads and the town is starting to wake after a day-long hibernation. We take our time at breakfast and discuss the very limited options of how to spend the day. The hotel staff says that the road to the airport will be clear, but there is really no chance of visiting anywhere else. 

Around 11 am we are checking out of the hotel and my Dad is pulling the rental car around to the lobby pick-up area. When I open the passenger side door, I can not believe my eyes. There is a layer of snow at least 2 inches thick covering two-thirds of the backseat, the entire floor, and most of the passenger’s side seat. My Dad left one of the windows open. I immediately start posting pictures to all of my social media accounts. 

As my Mom approaches, I can hear her trademarked, low grumble of dissatisfaction; I recognize this sound from my childhood. Dad continues to pretend this is not really happening. 

Eventually, my Dad declares that he will take care of the situation by going to Walmart. I am skeptical but ultimately have no choice. I find a comfortable seat in the hotel lobby and spend some quality time with my Mom. 

About 1.5 hours later, my Dad returns. The snow is gone and the seats are covered with bathmats. I can’t stop laughing. 

It’s now 1pm. The town remains mostly shut down from the blizzard and my flight does not leave until 7pm. We load into the car to take a drive. Downtown Rapid City is littered with bronze statues of all of the American Presidents. We decide to find each person’s favorite President. I pick Abe Lincoln. His statue is nearly buried in snowdrifts, but we somehow manage to find it and get a picture. Next, we come across the town’s graffiti wall, which runs along the inside of a narrow alleyway. I get out to take some pictures, but the alleyway turns out to be more of a wind tunnel and I can barely stand the cold. 

We notice a small spice shop that appears to be open. We wander in and the store manager immediately announces that we can look around but will not be able to buy anything, since the Internet is down. This works well since we did not want to buy anything anyways. Nonetheless, we spend nearly 45 minutes looking at different flavors of salt and talking to the manager. It’s nice to be out of the hotel. 

The next stop is the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company. We browse for a while and then end up buying a few truffles. I eat mine on the way back to the car. There is still time to kill and, luckily we find an open coffee shop called Essence of Coffee. I can not drink any more coffee, though, so I opt for a bottle of sparkling water instead. 

Around 2:30 pm we start the drive to the airport. In an effort to hide the snow-related debacle, we throw the bathmats into a gas station trash can before returning the rental car. The small airport is packed. All of the flights are running, but they are on a skeleton crew, since not everyone could make it into work. The security line takes nearly an hour. Nonetheless, we are still 3 full hours early for my flight. I luck out by finding a table for 4 in the only restaurant. At least we don’t have to spend all this time at the gate. 

My parent’s flight leaves first. We say our goodbyes and then I immediately order another glass of wine. My flight is about 30 minutes late. Once we board we have to wait another 30 minutes to get access to the de-icing machine. By the time we land in Minneapolis-St Paul, I have missed my connecting flight. It’s late and there is no chance of getting home this evening. I check in with customer service and they help book a new flight for tomorrow morning at 11am. Oh well, bonus vacation. 

I book a room at the Country Inn and Suites by the Mall of America. It’s an easy cab ride to get there. I finally check in at 11:30 pm. The lobby attendant lets me know the hotel is connected to a TGI Fridays and that they serve food until 2am. I never thought I’d be so excited to go to a TGI Friday’s in a mall! 

I easily find a corner table in the bar and order chicken wings plus a glass of cabernet. I am tired and don’t even pretend to look at my phone as I blatantly people watch and eat with my hands. By the time I leave, my wine glass is covered in buffalo sauce as well as part of my face. I don’t even care. 

When I return to my room, I am extremely happy at the amount of space and quality of the bedding. I shower and am asleep in plenty of time to catch a good night’s rest. 

Winter expedition in South Dakota

Saturday, November 30th, 2019 

Rapid City, SD

It’s 8am MST and I am jumping out of bed to see my first blizzard. I excitedly pull back the blinds to a completely deserted landscape. Everything is covered in a blanket of white snow. I can see buildings and parked cars, but it’s impossible to see where the streets end and sidewalks begin. Snow is blowing upwards, sideways and in every other direction but down. I think this is so cool. 

I get ready for the day and make a cup of coffee. I have nearly 30 minutes to stare out of the window before breakfast. I watch intently as snowplows start to appear, seemingly out of nowhere. Some are big and some are small. They slowly and methodically draw lines in the snow and I am reminded of Tibetan monks silently moving around a sand garden. 

At 9am I meet my parents for breakfast. We find a table next to a window and I continue to stare at the snow. Now we are on the ground level so I can see the full height of the snowdrifts, some of which are as tall as the cars. 

I order an omelet and more coffee for breakfast. We check the weather and it quickly becomes clear that we are not leaving the hotel today. Luckily there is a bare-bones staff and the electricity remains on. 

After a long breakfast, I come to the conclusion that I must go outside. It takes nearly 20 minutes to prepare for the trek. My Dad will come too, while my Mom takes pictures through the hotel window. At 11am I meet my parents in the lobby and I am literally wearing every piece of clothing from my suitcase. 

I look out of the lobby window and honestly, feel a little scared. The wind is blowing furiously and visibility is low. My Dad goes first. He ventures directly into the wind. Me, my Mom, and the lobby attendant watch through the window. He quickly returns and announces that the wind is strong. 

Alright, I will go outside too. I push through 2 layers of doors to the drop-off area in front of the lobby. I turn away from the wind but remain within 10 feet of the door. I take a few pictures and attempt to create a snowball. I only succeed in soaking my gloves and throwing a pile of powder back into the incessant wind. I go back inside. 

Now my Dad has an idea to venture farther; he wants to walk to Murphy’s, a closed pub located across the street. I’m not excited about this idea, but honestly, there is nothing else to do. I send my Mom to the top floor of the hotel to take pictures. I zip up my jacket and put on my Spectacles, which are sunglasses with an embedded camera. 

5 steps into the expedition my glasses are completely fogged over. I try taking them off, but the fast-blowing snow stings my eyes so much that I can not keep them open. I put my sunglasses back on and wipe them with my soaking wet glove. I can barely make out my Dad, who is a few paces in front of me. As I follow him, I snap a few pictures. 

The wind is loud and my ears are covered by multiple layers. We communicate with hand signals. The conversation goes like this: Me: No, no, no. My Dad: Yes, yes, yes.  Once we successfully touch the door of Murphy’s, I take the lead into the wind to get back to the hotel. I can see the hotel, but still find it scarier to be in the front of the line since I can no longer follow my Dad’s path. 

Eventually, we make it back inside the lobby. I take a few minutes to dry off my Spectacles and pair them with my iPhone to look at pictures. Only some of them came out as the camera actually froze after only a few minutes. 

My Dad wants to drive around the block, but me and my Mom refuse to go. He treks to the car and then comes back 10 minutes later. There is no way to move that car. I am relieved. 

Now it’s 11 am and there is officially nothing left to do. We agree to spend some time in our respective hotel rooms and meet for lunch at 12noon. 

At 12noon I am not hungry at all but head back to the lobby anyways. We learn that the lobby restaurant will not be open for dinner, so I end up ordering some crab dip in a purely defensive move. 

Around 1:30 pm, lunch is done and there is still nothing to do. We agree to take a break and then meet back in the lobby at 3 pm. For the next 1.5 hours, I sit quietly in my room, alternating between watching the window and the weather channel. 

At 3 pm we learn that the lobby bar has been opened. My prayers have been answered! The bar is small but full of stranded guests. I spend a few hours chatting with my parents and eventually, everyone agrees to play Heads Up. We spend most of the evening making a small scene as we all yell out clues. Eventually, we move to the charades version of the games, causing an even bigger scene. 

Around 6 pm we learn that the kitchen is closing and make an emergency order of all 4 available appetizers. We spend the rest of the evening finishing off a large portion of the bar’s cabernet and eating more crab dip.

Eventually, the bar closes, forcing us to call it an early night. I still have time to watch a few more episodes of Undone before falling asleep well before 10 pm.  

Another T-shirt of a monument I didn't see

Friday, November 29th, 2019 

Rapid City, SD

It’s 8am MST and I am waking up. Even though I went to bed at 10pm, I still feel groggy. I slowly get ready for the day and still have time to enjoy a small cup of coffee while staring out of the hotel window. 

At 9am I meet my parents in the hotel restaurant for breakfast. The restaurant is empty and the service is slow. We discuss the weather and decide to wait until 11am to attempt the drive to Mount Rushmore. A blizzard is supposed to hit this evening, so we need to be back in town before dark. After a slow breakfast, I find a seat next to a picture of a fireplace in the lobby. I call my Grandmother to chat while my parents finish getting ready for the day. 

Around 11am, we gather at the rental car. My Dad drives and the road to Mount Rushmore is perfectly clear. It looks like this town really knows how to deal with snow. I feel grateful. 

Soon we arrive at Mount Rushmore and it is beyond cold outside. I put on all of my winter gear and start the trek up the long walkway. Once we arrive at the end of the path, my parents start to giggle. Wait a minute, is this it? I am staring at a wall of fog. 

There is a viewing room with a fireplace, an extremely tall window, and a small cafe. I buy a cup of coffee and sit down to wait out the fog. We watch some kids play in the snow and are inspired to take some of our own pictures. Me and Mom go back outside and she makes several attempts to time a picture of me throwing snow into the air. Once we are both frozen, we return inside to stare at the fog some more. 

Eventually, we make the call to check out the gift shop and then drive to the Crazy Horse memorial. The gift shop is substantial and I pick out a T-shirt to take home. Just as we are starting to leave, the fog begins to clear. We trek back up the path and are able to catch a faded glimpse of the monument. I am surprised by how close it is.

The next stop is the Crazy Horse monument. My parents assure me there is no way to see the monument in this fog, but there is a robust museum and another cafe on site. As we enter the lobby of the museum, we learn they have stopped the shuttle service to the memorial but are encouraged to watch a free short film. The theater is freezing cold, but luckily I am well equipped with winter clothing. You know you’re not from here when your outdoor winter clothes are just sufficient for indoor activities. 

We learn that the Crazy Horse monument, which is still in progress, is being built by the same family that built Mount Rushmore. This rock sculpture will eventually be 563 feet tall, significantly larger than its Mount Rushmore counterpart, which is only 87 feet. This memorial was started in 1927 and so far 3 generations of the Ziolkowski family have worked on the project. There is currently no estimation of its completion. 

After the movie is completed, we spend 30 minutes or so browsing through the museum. We finish in the gift shop, where I buy another T-shirt of a monument that I didn’t see. 

The weather is starting to decline, so we head back into Rapid City. It’s around 4pm and we decide to find a restaurant for an early dinner. We try Tally’s first, but they are not open yet. Next, we go to an Ale House located across the street, but it’s very loud and there are slot machines interspersed with the tables. Finally, we settle on Murphy’s, which is located across the street from the hotel. This place is great. The interior is mostly wood and the chairs are extra comfortable. I start out with some wine and then eventually order the bison meatloaf, wrapped in bacon. It tastes as amazing as it sounds. I enjoy the long dinner with my parents and eventually head back to the hotel at 8pm.

We order a round of drinks in the hotel bar, but it’s incredibly loud and overrun by a local crowd. I wonder if the blizzard can account for the crowd or if this place is actually popular. By 9pm we decide to call it a night. 

I quickly get ready for bed and end up watching a few episodes of Undone on Amazon. Even though I am excited to witness my first blizzard, eventually I drift off to sleep. 

Why casinos don't have windows

Thursday, November 28th, 2019 

Los Angeles, CA and Rapid City, SD

It’s 3am PST and I am waking up for my 6am flight to Rapid City, SD. Today is Thanksgiving and I will be landing in Rapid City, SD by 11am MST. I am very groggy but willing to tolerate the early wake-up call in order to get the most out of Thanksgiving Day.

I enjoy a quick coffee and meditation before my Lyft picks me up for the airport. The first flight to Salt Lake City is smooth and I make a quick connection to the next plane. The Salt Lake City airport is built like a bus terminal and I am very charmed by its minimalistic aesthetic. The next flight boards right on time. The airplane is teeny, tiny and I can barely stand up in the aisle. I wait patiently through an hour delay before the plane is able to leave the runway. 

After about 2 hours in the air, the pilot makes an announcement that weather conditions are making it unsafe to land but he is going to try anyway. My immediate reaction is laughter. I think he could have communicated better, but am happy to hold on to the hope of landing. The pilot makes an attempt but ends up ascending back into the sky. He makes a second attempt with the same outcome. At this point, the plane does not have enough fuel to continue to circle the airport and we are diverted to Casper, WY. 

30 minutes later we are on the ground as the crew refuels. The plan is to wait for a break in the weather and then try again. Because of the rapidly changing nature of the situation, the pilot asks that all passengers stay on the teeny, tiny plane. 2 hours later, we are back in the air. 

As the plane approaches Rapid City, the pilot announces that conditions are still not good and the last plane was unable to land. He announces that he will try again. I truly love this guy. 

As the plane descends I can feel the whole plane holding its breath. I stare out of the window and can only see fog. Suddenly the wheels touch down. We have arrived! We all exchange high fives with the pilot and crew on the way out of the plane. I overhear the gate attendant say this is the only plane to make it into Rapid City today. Wow, I feel lucky. I almost spent Thanksgiving alone in a regional airport in Wyoming. 

By 3pm I am meeting my parents at their rental car in front of the airport. I am only 4 hours late.

My parents inform me that the Thanksgiving buffets have closed for the day and there are only 2 hours of daylight left. A group decision is made to use the daylight to see Sturgis and then eat a regular dinner later. I am starving, however, so end up buying a couple of beef sticks and some black coffee at a gas station. This is not the culinary experience that I expected. 

Sturgis, which is famous for its summer biker rallies and motorcycle bars is completely empty. We drive around the town center, but the only thing open is another gas station. Dad asks if I’d like another beef stick and I politely decline. 

It turns out that we are not far from Deadwood and there is still some daylight left. We make the drive around a small mountain and end up in a quaint town that looks like a deserted version of the log ride at Disneyland. As we get closer to Main Street, I can see that the road is lined with motels and casinos. Some dedicated gamblers sit at slot machines next to the smudged-up windows. They look kind of sad. I suddenly realize that I’ve never seen a casino with windows before. Maybe this is why. 

It’s nearing 5pm and the sky is darkening. We drive back to Rapid City to try the 3 restaurants that are supposed to be open. The first one, Minervas, is clearly closed for the day. The second one, called Menards, turns out to be a very large hardware store. While it’s technically open, they don’t do dinner service. We pass by a Perkin’s, which is open, but my Dad refuses to eat at a chain on a holiday. I silently think that beggars can’t be choosers, but I hold out hope for the next and final option. Marlin’s is in the parking lot of a large truck stop and, hallelujah, it’s open. I have never been so excited to eat Thanksgiving dinner at a truck stop. 

I order a large glass of their only white wine and proceed to embark on a 3-course meal of fried cheese sticks, taco salad, and a brownie a la mode. This meal is great and I am so happy that I made it here. 

My parents landed in Rapid City from Austin, Texas yesterday and had almost an entire day to explore before I arrived. I casually ask what they’ve seen so far. There is a pause that lasts a beat too long; I know something’s up. They went to Mount Rushmore without me. They promise to go back tomorrow, but to be honest, I really can’t blame them. Weather conditions are deteriorating fast and it’s possible the roads may be closed tomorrow. 

After dinner, we check into the Rushmore hotel and are very happy with my room. It’s starting to snow outside, but my Dad still somehow manages to find a bar across the street for an after-dinner drink. As soon as we enter, we realize the bar is in fact an Indian food restaurant. We order a bottle of wine and add a few appetizers to be polite. No one touches the food, but we enjoy the wine together. Around 9:30pm the restaurant closes and we have no other choice but to call it a night. 

I crawl into bed and say a little prayer that the weather holds for tomorrow.  

One picky lady

Sunday, September 22nd, 2019 

Shalimar, FL and Los Angeles, CA

It’s 8am EST and I am waking up for the day. I quickly get ready and pack up for my flight back to LA. I have just a few minutes to spare, which I spend drinking a small cup of coffee. 

At 9am I am knocking on my grandmother’s door. I lounge in her living room, while she finishes getting ready for the day. Eventually, the two of us head to a diner called Joe & Eddy’s for brunch. The food here is fantastic and I allow myself the rare delicacy of a biscuit with butter. My flight doesn’t leave until 4pm, so we have some time to do some shopping before I leave. Unfortunately, it’s Sunday, however, and the mall doesn’t open until 1pm. 

We start out at Khol’s and I attempt to help my grandmother pick out a new shirt. It turns out that she is pickier than me and neither of us buys anything. Next, we go to Target, where I buy a new wallet and my grandmother picks up some odds and ends for her apartment. 

We spend the rest of our morning drinking coffee in the lobby of my grandmother’s building. I show her how to play some memory games on her cell phone and she vows to play them daily. 

By 1:30pm it’s time to say goodbyes. I am early to the tiny airport and can not find a seat in the only cafe. I sit at an empty gate and read until my flight arrives. 

The flight home is easy, but it ends up being a late night. The late flight plus the time difference leaves me exhausted by the time I get home. This was a quick trip but I have to admit that I had more fun than I’ve had in a long time. 

A lesson learned in Alabama, clad in anonymity.

Saturday, September 21st, 2019 

Shalimar, FL

It’s 8am EST and I am waking up in the Bob Hope Village retirement community. I am staying in a designated guest apartment, which has the exact same setup as a resident’s apartment. As I am getting ready, I particularly enjoy the extra-large bathroom, which is almost as big as the kitchen. 

Once I am ready for the day, I find some packets of coffee grounds and make myself a cup. I slowly sip the hot coffee while watching the incredibly bright sun beams down onto the front lawn. 

By 9am I am dutifully knocking on my grandmother’s door. She is still getting ready and asks me to help with the budgeting and cash management for the day. She hands me an envelope of cash and assures me that I should not feel guilty about spending money today. She is speaking my language. 

Today we are celebrating my grandmother’s 93rd birthday at the Atmore Casino in Alabama. It’s about a 2-hour drive away, so we still have time for brunch in Shalimar. 

By 10am I am loading up my grandmother’s walker into the rental car. She requests a stop at Sally’s Beauty Supply for some hairspray and I comply. I end up buying a pair of sunglasses for myself. Arriving here without sunglasses was a small side effect of taking a flight that left before sunrise. 

The next stop is brunch. My grandmother suggests a French bakery, which is one of her favorite places. When we arrive I realize there are no low-carb options and I immediately make the decision to go all in. After all, today is a celebration. I order a cappuccino and 2 cream puffs and am incredibly satisfied. I also grab a coffee to go before starting the 2-hour drive to Atmore. 

The drive is really nice. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a road trip and I am enjoying the relaxed conversation. When we arrive at the casino, my grandmother informs me that I need to check in to get a player’s card and tickets to the buffet. She tells multiple employees that it’s her 93rd birthday and probably her last trip to the casino. I try to keep a straight face, but it’s incredibly funny to watch their faces oscillate between forced empathy and utter discomfort. Well, I guess we’ll have to find a new casino next year. 

We start off with a lap around the casino floor. It’s all penny slot machines, which is exactly where my grandmother excels in gambling. Since I am in charge of the cash, I start each of us off with 3 20 dollar bills. At first, I cheer my grandmother on and only push the button on my machine every once in a while. I really do not want to burn through all of her birthday cash and I know from previous experience that I do not excel in the art of penny slot machine gambling. Eventually, she catches on and tells me to stop being a wimp. Fine. I start playing for real.

After a few hours of breaking even, my grandmother wants to go into the high limit room. I have never been in a high limit room and decide this is a good idea. On the way in my grandmother explains to the attendant that she’s 93 years old and this is her last trip to the casino. We both sit a machine with a $5 minimum bet. I feel sick to my stomach as I hand my grandmother a crisp, twenty-dollar bill. I hold my breath as she pushes the button and it’s gone within seconds. We spend another 10 minutes and $80 in the high limit room. Eventually, I am able to guide her back to the penny slots. That was the most stress that I’ve experienced in a while. 

Near the end of the day, I start winning a lot. I win back all of my investment, plus $60. When I cash out, I’m actually given a $100 bill. I take like 10 selfies with my winnings. This was fun. 

The next stop is the dinner buffet. We have tickets for the full buffet plus two buckets of crab legs, my grandmother’s favorite food. We start off with the crab legs. We are both given a pair of seafood scissors but, honestly, neither of us knows what to do with them. My grandmother says there is a trick to getting the meat out, but she doesn’t remember what it is. 

Eventually, a kindhearted waitress comes to our table and gives us both a lesson on eating crab legs. By the end of the bucket, we are both experts. I am secretly happy to have learned this lesson in Alabama, clad in anonymity.  

After the crab legs, I fill my plate with a variety of fantastic food including baked clams, smoked sausage, and crab au gratin, which is basically crab meat with queso on top... and a surprisingly good idea. I even manage to save room for the dessert bar, where I find a no-bake cookie. This takes me back to my childhood in Tennessee. I have not seen a no-bake cookie in at least 20 years. I am unreasonably happy about this. 

By 6pm we are back on the road to Shalimar. Around 8pm, just as it’s getting dark, we arrive home. This is the perfect time to open the bottle of wine that I bought last night. my grandmother insists that I sit in the comfortable chair, while she takes the couch. I am tired, perfectly relaxed and the wine is delicious. 

By the time I leave, security has already closed the lobby for the evening. A guard has to escort me out of the front door and I am worried that he’ll know I and my grandmother have been drinking. Spending time in a retirement community sure can sure make you feel like a kid again. 

I easily make it back to my guest apartment and quickly fall asleep for the evening. What a fun day. 

A welcome fit for a queen

Friday, September 20th, 2019 

Los Angeles, CA and Shalimar, FL

It’s 3:30am PST and I am waking up for my 6:30am flight to Destin, FL. Admittedly I could have slept until 4am, but I wanted time for coffee and meditation and it’s not like 4am is any less painful that 3:30am. 

Around 5am I arrive at LAX and are through security in a matter of minutes. TSA pre-check can really come in handy sometimes. I buy another cup of coffee and find an empty gate where I can play Pokemon Go and listen to music while waiting for my flight. 

The flight to Atlanta is uneventful. Once we land, I have an hour to kill at the airport. I buy a cheeseburger for lunch and a liter of water for later. 

I finally land in Destin at 4pm CST. When I check-in for my rental car, the attendant asks if I would like to upgrade the car for only a few dollars. As she walks through the pricing, it quickly becomes clear that the upgrade is significantly more. She is talking incredibly slow, however. I breathe slowly through my nose in order to tolerate this conversation. 

Once I am finally out of the airport, I set my GPS to a Publix that is close to my grandmother’s place. I stop to buy a small plant and card as part of her birthday present. 

I finally arrive at the Bob Hope Village at 5pm. I drive around for a few minutes before I find Hawthorn House, an assisted living facility, for members of the retirement community. My grandmother lives in a private apartment on the first floor. I knock on the door and she is dramatically happy to see you. She really knows how to make someone feel welcome. 

It takes nearly an hour for her to finish getting ready, but it’s not really a big deal, since our dinner reservation is not until 7pm. We spend this time happily talking and catching up on each other’s lives. 

It takes some extra time to find the Bay Cafe, but it comes highly recommended and I think that it’s worth the effort. When we arrive we are seated on a large wooden deck that overlooks a small inlet of ocean water. It’s beautiful outside and when I see the menu I become even more excited. 

We order an appetizer of crab claws and I get the grouper Wellington for dinner. I also order a glass of the house chardonnay, which, admittedly, is not as impressive as the food or atmosphere, but I am still happy. Dinner is amazing and we finish it off with a creme brûlée and cup of coffee. 

On the way back my grandmother begins to insist that I stop at Publix for a bottle of wine. I will not argue with that. 

It’s 10pm by the time we return to the Bob Hope Village. I am extremely tired. We both agree to call it a night and save the wine for tomorrow. 

I drop her off at Hawthorne house and retreat to a guest apartment down the street. I am grateful for my own space and am fast asleep within a matter of minutes.  

There's nothing wrong with communism-themed travel.

Tuesday, August 27th, 2019 

Prague, Czech Republic and Los Angeles, CA

It’s 8am and I am waking up. Today I will fly back to Los Angeles and I am already feeling sad. We spend almost a full hour getting ready and packing up my large backpack. I somehow manage to fit 2 liters of beer into my pack, but now I can barely pick it up. 

Around 9am, Sarah and I sit down for breakfast. I spend most of the time organizing photos and documenting various activities. 

By 10am we walking to the metro. This hotel is the farthest from the metro of any hotel that we’ve stayed in and my backpack is the heaviest it’s ever been. It’s a rough commute, but we finally arrive at the airport at 11am. It takes a few minutes to figure out where to check-in and, once I find it, I learn that it will not open for another 30 minutes. I sit quietly at a Starbucks while Sarah completes her check-in process. 

Eventually, the line opens ups. Check-in goes quickly but I am sent to a special area to drop my bag since it’s so heavy. I knew it was extra heavy and a small part of me feels validated that the Prague airport agrees. 

Next, we pass through a passport verification checkpoint. My immigration officer smiles when he sees my stamp from Cuba and mentions that it sounds like a fun trip. I think that he may be making fun of my interest in communism-themed travel, but I beam with pride nonetheless; that is my favorite stamp. 

I quickly pass through security and walk Sarah to her gate, where there is another security checkpoint. After only 20 minutes, it’s time for Sarah to start boarding, we say our goodbyes and I meander to my own gate. My flight is slightly delayed, but I still make it to London in time to catch the next flight. 

The final flight home is very nice. I am seated in business class and am served an amazing lunch of stewed beef and veggies, with several glasses of wine. I watch a few movies and take a long nap. 

I arrive in LA in the late afternoon and have just enough time for dinner and some TV, before an early bedtime. As I lay in bed I think that Eastern Europe was the perfect mix of alcohol, sausage and art.  

Asleep at the dinner table

Monday, August 26th, 2019 

Prague, Czech Republic

It’s 9:30am CES and I am slowly waking up. We take our time getting ready for the day and am eating breakfast at the hotel by 10:15am. The breakfast area is crowded and the coffee comes out of a machine in single servings. As I wait patiently for my turn, I start to miss Los Angeles, land of the 20 ounce, to-go cup of coffee. Eventually, it's my turn and I am rewarded with 4 ounces of black coffee. 

As Sarah and I eat breakfast together, she points out a cat-shaped decanter on the bar across the room. This place is cute. 

After breakfast we head over to Petrin Hill, which is a big hill in the middle of town, with a large, metal tower on top, that is shaped like the Eiffel tower. The walk to the bottom of the hill is easy. When we arrive at the base, we find the funicular, along with a very long line of tourists waiting for a ride to the top of the hill. We decide to walk. 

The path up the hill is charming. We pass by several statues and viewpoints. At one point we pass an empty beer garden that is attached to someone’s house. We vow to stop here on the way back. About 30 minutes later, we arrive at the top of the hill. I am surprised to find a miniature complex of ice cream and drink carts, a small church, and a rose garden. 

First things first, we check-in at the tower. For a small fee, we can take a series of elevators and stairs to the top of the tower where we’ll be rewarded with a panoramic view of Prague. We take the elevator to the first observation deck. The view is nice, but we want to go all the way to the top. Sarah and I embark on a narrow spiral staircase. At first, we are surrounded by solid walls, but as we approach the top, the stairs continue to narrow and the walls are replaced by a cage. Wow, we are far up. I am not prepared for the sense of panic that suddenly overcomes me. I power through to the top but am unable to lose contact with the inner wall to fully enter the viewing area. It’s okay though, I can see plenty from my current position. I force myself to take a picture, even though my brain and my stomach are screaming at me to get back down. 

Once we are back on the ground I feel relief and then am immediately overcome with thirst. It’s getting hot outside and I have not drank any water today. I buy a few bottles of water and then wander over to the rose garden. The view is amazing and Sarah and I take some time to sit on a park bench and enjoy nature. 

On the way back down the hill, we stop at the small beer garden and appear to be the first customers of the day. That’s okay though, it’s five o clock somewhere. We order two beers and sit at the table with the best view. The decor is super kitschy and the view of Prague is amazing. On a whim I decide that I would like to have dessert for lunch, a trdelnik to be specific. Sarah agrees this is a good idea and we finish the walk to the bottom of the hill. 

On the way to the main square we stop in a quaint candy shop, that’s in the shape of a pirate’s ship. This is so cute, but I do not buy any candy. I am on a mission for a grander dessert. When we finally arrive at the main square there are at least 5 trdelnik stands to choose from. A trdelnik is a dessert built for people on vacation. It's essentially a cone-shaped donut, filled with whipped cream and a fruit of your choice. I choose strawberry. 

We spend the rest of the afternoon wandering the streets of Prague and attempting to shop. I am prepared to buy clothes and would like to find something unique, but am just not inspired. Around 4pm we decide that it’s time to try out some of the famous Prague breweries. 

First stop is U Fleku. This is one of the oldest breweries in Europe, having been in operation for over 500 years. It’s actually more of a complex than a brewery with 9 different beer halls. We opt to sit outside in the beer garden and easily find seats at the end of a long picnic table. This brewery only sells one kind of beer, which is dark and keeps track of the bill by giving us a piece of paper and adding tallies each time we’re served a round. I start my first beer and sadly it’s not very good. Sarah also points out a strange smell that I can all of the sudden not ignore. After one round we attempt to close out our tab, but can not get a server to take our money. Eventually, we decide to walk out slowly and someone finally stops to take our payment. 

Well, that was a flop. Next, we try U Supu, which is a little newer, but still well known. We are shown to a nice table on the patio and offered a menu of beer from which we can actually choose the kind that we want. I already like this place better. I order an amber beer and it tastes amazing. The menu also looks great and we end up ordering a variety of cheese and sausage to share. Soon a Chinese family sits at the table next to us. I am worried it will get too loud, but instead, the opposite happens. I notice the matriarch of the family is asleep in her chair. I can relate. 

After a nice, long dinner I end up buying a few liters of beer to bring back home. Sarah and I walk back to the hotel to drop off the beer and then decide to take a walk by the river. We quickly find a little pub, with lawn chairs sitting right next to the river. Sarah and I grab two chairs, which are incredibly comfortable. We slowly sip on beer, while watching the riverboats pass by. 

Around 10pm we decide to continue the adventure down the river to a wall of Beatles-themed graffiti known as the John Lennon wall. The surrounding neighborhood is cute and eventually, we find the wall. We try taking a few photos, but the light is too low for any of them to come out. 

We slowly meander back through town to the hotel. I am tired and tomorrow will be a long day. 

Did not see that coming

Sunday, August 25th, 2019 

Vienna, Austria and Prague, Czech Republic

It’s 9am CES and I am waking up after a great night’s sleep. By 9:30am Sarah and I are at the hotel breakfast bar. I enjoy my standard breakfast of coffee and sausage while we plan out the day. 

The first stop is the imperial apartments at the Hofburg, located in the main square. It’s still early when we arrive, so the wait for tickets is only a few minutes. The Hofburg was previously an imperial palace, where the Habsburg dynasty lived in the winter. Today it is part museum and part residence and office to the President of Austria. 

Our tour encompasses 18 rooms, mostly dedicated to working space, dining rooms, and living areas of the Hapsburg family. One of the rooms was the dedicated dressing room for Empress Sisi, where she spent hours each morning having her ankle-length hair attended to. 

After the tour, we realize that our tickets also allow entrance to the museum’s silver collection. We spend about 30 minutes wandering around various rooms. I do not bother reading the history behind the collection, instead, I just appreciate its sheer opulence.

We spend the rest of the morning at a nearby coffee shop. The service is incredibly slow, but our server is very charming and explains that her dream is to move to California and practice yoga. I can tell that she would fit right in. 

After coffee, we walk back to the main street to do some light shopping before lunch. I want to find something to bring back for my coworkers, but all of the souvenir shops are filled with junk. Eventually, Sarah and I get the idea to go to a local grocery store to find tea and chocolate. Sarah directs us into a store called Billa. This is one of the main grocery stores in Austria. I am immediately excited - this store is at least two-thirds meat and cheese! I pick out some tea and chocolates and am very happy with my purchase. 

We have time for lunch and a beer before our train to Prague. We stop at the first cafe that we see. The menu has a dish that translates to “floating sausage” and I can not help but order it. My plate arrives with a small bowl with a lid. When I open the lid I am surprised to find a singular piece of sausage afloat in a clear broth. Honestly, I did not see that coming. 

Lunch is okay but takes longer than expected. Sarah and I quickly return to the hotel to get our bags and then take the subway back to the main station. Soon we are aboard the train to Prague. 

The train ride is 4 hours. I drink a few beers but mostly stare out of the window. I am happy to be sitting down. It's 9pm by the time we arrive in Prague. We quickly check into our hotel and then start looking for a cafe for dinner. To our surprise nothing close by is open. We eventually find a diner in another hotel. I order a cheeseburger and a glass of chardonnay. The diner turns out to be very charming and, against all odds, Sarah and I enjoy a nice, long dinner. 

By the time we are done, it’s 11:30pm. We walk back to the hotel and order 2 more glasses of wine. Just as we are opening the door to the hotel courtyard, we are informed that it’s closed and we have to stay in the indoor bar area. The music inside is loud and slow, but we make the best of it. By midnight we are heading upstairs to go to sleep. 

The tragedy of Sisi

Saturday, August 24th, 2019 

Vienna, Austria 

It’s 6:45am CES and we are waking up extra early to beat the crowds to the Schönbrunn Palace. At 7am, sharp Sarah and I are at the hotel breakfast buffet. Over a few cups of amazing coffee, we discover that we can buy timed tickets for the palace online for a discount. We decide to purchase tickets for 10am to allow time to walk through the gardens before it gets too hot outside. After a very satisfying breakfast, we start the process of taking multiple trams to get to the Palace, which is located just outside of town. 

We arrive by 8:45am and have just the right amount of time to wander the courtyard and large garden behind the palace. While the garden has some splashes of flowers and color, it’s mostly well-manicured lawns and straight lines of trees. Nonetheless, the open space is beautiful and mostly devoid of tourists. 

Around 10am we start our tour of the palace. We are shuffled through 40 different rooms, including the private apartments for Emperor Franz Joseph and Empress Elisabeth. Most of the tour focuses on Elisabeth, who was also called Sisi. She was reluctant to accept court life but was loved dearly by the people and her husband. She gave birth to four children, three daughters and one son, who tragically died in a murder-suicide pact with his mistress at age 30. Sisi was murdered by an Italian anarchist at age 60.  

At 11:30am we are ready to leave the palace just a the crowds are pouring in. I am feeling grateful for the early start to our day. We head back to the main part of town and find a well-shaded cafe for lunch. I order a salad with tuna and sparkling water. I find this is a welcome departure from almost a full week of sausage and beer. 

After lunch, we go to the St Stephansplatz cathedral. It’s crowded, but we successfully shuffle around the perimeter, while Sarah points out items of interest using Rick Steve’s guidebook. The cathedral is grand and I take several photos of the art and architecture. 

Next, we stop for a cappuccino break. It’s nice to sit down for a minute and the caffeine reinvigorates us for the rest of the day. 

We make one last stop in the main square at St Peter’s cathedral, for a free bout of organ music. We arrive early and get a good seat in the pews. The music starts off quiet but eventually fills the entire room with organ pipes that are larger than any I have ever seen. 

Now that it’s almost 5pm, it’s time to go to the Vienna wine gardens, a place that has been at the top of my list for a while. Sarah and I take a series of trams to get out of town and to the first and largest wine garden called, Heuriger Kierlinger. Most of the seating is outside in a medium-sized courtyard filled with plants and vintage decorations. It feels rustic and I am charmed. There is a family, clearly, locals, celebrating a birthday close by and I am immediately jealous of their lifestyle. As it turns out, the wine is just okay, but the ambiance makes up for it. After one glass I am starting to get hungry and we decide to move on to another place for dinner. 

Next stop is Mayer Am Pfarrplatz. As we walk up a small hill on a deserted cobblestone street, I suddenly feel like we are really off the beaten path. We pass some empty apartment buildings with broken windows and in the diffused dusk light I think that it’s really pretty. When we enter Mayer, it becomes clear where all the people are. There are no cars or even bicycles out front and I silently try to figure out where they came from. 

We are seated at a long picnic table near the back. The wine menu here is much more robust and I order a red blend and Sarah orders a Pinot Noir. I love my wine and eventually am so hungry that I brave the cafe to order food at the counter. The language barrier is severe as Sarah and I just point at things in the deli case. I end up with blood sausage, sauerkraut, and a cheese plate. It's pretty much exactly what I wanted and I am feeling proud. 

After a few more rounds of wine, I wander back into the cafe to attempt to order dessert. I get the items to which I pointed but am ultimately disappointed in the dry, overly sweetened pastries. Sarah points out a small apartment attached to the outside of the main structure and says that it's Beethoven’s old apartment. It turns out that he summered here and, in 1817, worked on his ninth symphony while staying in this very apartment. 

Eventually, it becomes dark outside and I am feeling very tired. I convince Sarah to peek into one more heuriger, called Zimmermann, but ultimately we agree to not drink any more wine. 

We find our way back to central Vienna and decide to stop at the outdoor film fest to see what’s going on. It is Saturday night, after all. 

We drink one round of beer while watching the locals watch a movie in German. Around 11pm we walk back to the hotel. Today was a long day and we are beat.  

I'll have 2 of your best sausages and a bottle of champagne, please.

Friday, August 23rd, 2019 

Budapest, Hungary and Vienna, Austria 

It's 9am CES and I am slowly waking up. Laura has already left for her flight back to Austin. Sarah and I get ready for the day and then find a cafe that is just crowded enough to suggest good food. Brunch is long but also relaxing. We sit on the sidewalk, people watch and remain completely charmed by the streets of Hungary. 

After we finish brunch, we go back to the hotel to pick up our bags for our train to Vienna. The train ride lasts about 2.5 hours, of which I mostly listen to music. Once we are checked into our hotel in Vienna, it’s 2pm and extremely hot outside. We unanimously decide that it’s time for a beer break. We pick a cafe solely based on the amount of shade and luck out by finding one nestled in between two tall buildings. 

Sarah and I relax over 2 rounds of perfectly chilled, Austrian beer. We also take some time to organize our pictures, which are numerous and very repetitive. Eventually, we decide to head over to the Albertinaplatz art museum. 

The galleries are filled with Picassos and even some other artists that I know like Monet and Much. It’s nice to be out of the sun for a little bit and I am truly impressed by their collection. 

After the art museum, we decide that it’s time for dinner. Sarah and I walk to one of the many sausage carts in the main square. We each order 2 sausages and a small bottle of champagne. The price is higher than we expected, but we really want champagne and sausage, so we follow through. We sit on the steps of a large statue and take like 10 photos of each other. This is honestly one of the coolest of dinners that I’ve ever had. 

Now that day is starting to cool off, we walk to the main park for the Vienna film festival, which is free and open to the public. We enter into a courtyard lined with beer vendors and food trucks. We buy a round of beer and easily find a place to sit and people watch. Almost an hour later, a movie starts, which is projected on the side of one of the government buildings. The movie is black and white and even though its in German, we can still kind of follow it. We enjoy making up the parts that we can’t understand. Around 11pm we are tired and head back to the hotel for a good night’s sleep. 

Surprise, smiles and laughter

Thursday, August 22nd, 2019 

Budapest, Hungary 

It’s 10am CES and I am so happy for a day to sleep in. We quickly get ready for breakfast and Sarah, Laura, and I are sitting down to eat by 10:30am. We are at an outdoor cafe in the park across from our hotel. We are nestled in between two very narrow streets and watch as the stores and cafes open up for the day. I am so charmed by this neighborhood and feel like we are in a scene in a Disney movie. The menu is small, and only has a few variations of a breakfast quesadilla. I order one and think this can not be the same kind of quesadilla that we would receive in Los Angeles, but it turns out that it is. It’s also just as delicious.

After we finish breakfast we go back to the hotel to get ready for a day at the spa. Today we are going to the Szechenyi Baths. It takes Sarah nearly 5 whole minutes to convince me that there will be regular-sized lockers there, and finally I agree to bring a small backpack. 

When we arrive at Szechenyi, it appears to be a big blob of pools and hot tubs and we take a full lap around the facility to get orientated. Basically, there is an outdoor area with 3 large swimming pools, which are surrounded by 2 curved buildings. One of which houses the locker rooms and 2 cafes and the other one, which houses a long line of hot tubs, saunas, steam rooms, and cold plunges. Laura suggests that we get into every hot tub and we agree that’s a good idea. 

We spend the next 2 hours hopping in and out of a variety of spa facilities. At one point we see a sign with an arrow to a “beer spa”, we decide to follow the arrow only to find another sign with another arrow. Five signs later, we arrive at a small room, with 2 wooden tubs, each filled with beer and a beer tap within reaching distance from both. A sign says that we can pay for 30 minutes in the beer tub and drink unlimited beer from the tap during that time. This sounds amazing, but we ultimately decline since we have big dinner planned and do not want to ruin it. 

Once we are done exploring all available hot tubs, we order a glass of wine and some fruit. There is stadium-style bench seating on the second floor of the cafe, which overlooks the entire facility. We sit there and discuss the day. My favorite part was watching all of the other tourists jump into the cold plunges. It doesn’t matter what country they were from, everyone made the same surprised face, immediately followed by a smile and laughter. 

After the spa, we head back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. It takes a while for all 3 of us to shower, dry our hair and finish getting ready. Honestly, though, we are grateful for the downtime. Once everyone is ready we start to meander to the restaurant. It’s a 20-minute walk, but we have an hour to kill. We stop at a gift store so that Laura can buy some souvenirs for her coworkers. I spend some time shopping as well and end up buying a T-shirt for myself. 

We end up arriving 10 minutes early at Costes Downtown. We are immediately greeted by a very friendly hostess and shown to the chef’s table. I had booked this reservation nearly 6 months ago and am so excited to see what will happen next. 

The chef comes out to greet us and then takes us on a tour of the kitchen. Next, he introduces us to his sommelier, who takes us into the wine cellar. He pours us each a small glass of champagne and serves a small bite to complement it. He gives a talk on the greatness of Hungary wine and we all smile and nod politely. After a few pictures, we are walked back to our table to begin the 5-course tasting menu. 

We are presented with plate after plate of teeny tiny food, and end up with 10 different tastings and 3 full glasses of wine when all is said and done. We are not sure how this adds up to a 5-course meal, but also do not want to look a gift horse in the mouth. By the time dinner is over, we are tired and full. But tonight is our last night in Budapest and we have to see the ruin bars. 

I use my phone GPS to direct the group to Szimpla Kert, which is the oldest and best-known ruin bar. As we get closer to our destination, we are joined by hoards of both locals and tourists going to the same area. I am still carrying my plastic bag from the souvenir shop and am starting to feel a little self-conscience. 

We enter into a large, open courtyard with little bars lining the perimeter. The entire place is covered in found items and it looks like a punked-out version of TGI Fridays. We stand in line for 10 whole minutes in an attempt to order a cocktail. Eventually, we give up our spot in line for another, less crowded bar. We quickly learn this bar only serves wine and we just go with it. Hungarian sparkly it is! 

The wine is terrible, there is nowhere to sit and it’s becoming increasingly loud and difficult to hear each other speak. After the first round, we decide to go back to the neighborhood by our hotel. We eventually wander into a bar called Red Ruin, which is just across the street from the hotel. It’s very metal-punk and I immediately regret ordering a drink that comes with ice. I try to drink my cocktail before the ice melts, but it’s strong and I fail. Around midnight they close the outdoor seating area but we are not ready to call it a night yet. 

Laura suggests we buy beer from a corner store and walk to the bridge. Sure, I think this is a good idea. We spend the rest of the night standing over the Danube River, exactly halfway in between Buda and Pest. We take a million pictures of the lit-up town and eventually we call it a night. Tomorrow Laura will return back to the US and Sarah and I will head to Vienna.