Bodacious BBQ. There is no discussion necessary.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Dallas, TX and San Angelo, TX

It’s about 6am Central Time and I am wondering around the Dallas airport looking for Pokémon on my Pokémon Go app. I have a 3-hour layover before I fly into San Angelo to meet my Mom. I actually slept on the flight from Los Angeles and am starting to calm down from the initial shock of my Grandmother’s death.

I find a breakfast sandwich and eat it without the bread. I also grab some coffee and find my way to my gate 30 minutes ahead of boarding. I decide to use my time to come up with a plan for keeping it together for the next few days. I recall reading about something called binaural beats a while back. Binaural beats are various tones produced electronically and are used for meditation. Meditation seems helpful to my current situation so I download a few apps to sample on the airplane. I also load up my purse up with Altoids (which, for some strange reason, have always kept me from crying), concealer and tissues. Eventually, I board a very small airplane and San Angelo-bound. 

Around 10am Central Time I am exiting the plane at the San Angelo airport. As I walk outside my Mom is literally the only car in the pick up area. We say our hellos and then she is all business. Planning a funeral is a lot of work and we have places to go. I am grateful that someone has a plan.

First stop is the funeral home. My Mom had called ahead to the Robert Massie Funeral Home and was assigned a funeral Director named James. We are quickly seated in his office and when he enters he looks nervous. I don't blame him, my Mom is armed with notebooks full of paperwork and an iPad. I toss three Altoids in my mouth andclench my jaw.

The conversation is professional and my whole role is to agree with everything my Mom says. It’s actually pretty easy and I am feeling glad that I came. The entire meeting lasts about an hour and a half. It could have been done in far less time, but we spent at least 45 minutes watching James stumble through their software interface and waiting for various webpages to load. Eventually we leave the Robert Massie Funeral Home with a plan and a very long to-do list.

Next stop is lunch. I am still very tired and my appetite is pretty off, but I think I can eat some barbecue. There are few famous restaurants here, but only one that has been around since my Mom's childhood. We head over to Bodacious BBQ; there is no discussion necessary. I order a quarter pound of brisket with some smoked cheese on the side. I eat my whole plate plus a few hand fulls of pickles and a diet coke. My Mom does not eat much, but I can understand why.

After lunch we start on our list. The first stop is the florist. My Mom has a specific vision involving Texas wildflowers and the florist easily complies. The spray is easy to pick out. Next we pick out boutonnieres for the pallbearers. I suggest that each pallbearer get a different wildflower and everyone agrees. Next we pick out an easel. My Mom very specifically wants 87 roses to represent each year of Mema’s life. She wants them to be all red, but the florist talks her into a mix of colors (later we will both agree with the florist).

Next stop is the cemetery. Our funeral director has called ahead but we still need to stop by to pay for the headstone and sign some paperwork. When we arrive the manager is just finishing up with another customer. We wait patiently for our turn. Eventually we are seated in a small office. 

The woman in charge seems inappropriately chipper to me. I frown as we run through a few contracts and then have a brief discussion about whether or not to order a burial vault. This is a concrete casing for the casket and, apparently, is not required in Texas. The cost is $900 and there is really no good reason to get one. The cemetery manager advises against it and we agree. The sun is starting to set and we do one quick lap around the cemetery to visit the graves of my great grandparents and grandfather.

Eventually we head back to the hotel. My Mom had already booked a room with a king bed for herself. I decide to book my own room to keep things simple. Once we are all settled, we gather in my Mom’s room to go through mountains of pictures and put together some albums to show at the viewing. I decide this is a good opportunity for pizza and call in an order to Cork and Pig. I leave my Mom with her photos while I pick up pizza and salad.

We spend the evening sorting through pictures and eating dinner on the floor. I am absolutely exhausted but I have decided that it is not appropriate to turn in before 10pm. I push through the next few hours and at 10pm on the dot I announce that I am going to sleep.

We make plans to meet at 9am in the lobby. We are not even halfway through our list.