Touch the English Channel. Check.

Sunday, July 24^th, 2016

Hastings, UK

It’s 9am BST and I am waking up for my first (and last) full day in Hastings. Today is Pirate Day and it’s pretty much what you think it is. People dress like pirates and day drink... I can not freaking wait.

I have a full day to explore, so I start out with a quick run on the path by the sea. It’s not too crowded and the weather is amazing (sunny and cold). I end my run at a rocky beach and actually walk up to the water and put my hand in. I have a sudden urge to add “Touch the English Channel” to my bucket list so that I can cross it off. 

I am feeling accomplished as I slow jog back to my flat. After my post-run shower, I officially start the day with French pressed coffee and some unidentifiable British soap operas. I eat toast with jam for breakfast and am ready to head into town.

I start my day in New Town. My plan is to explore, shop, and hopefully purchase something that looks piratey. There is a mall and a ton of stores, but I cannot find any interesting clothes to buy. All of the stores look like TJ Maxx inside. I am disappointed, but I also understand that small town charm comes at a cost. After about an hour of looking around I decide to head over to Old Town. This is the home of Pirate Fest.

As I approach the arch separating Old Town from New Town I can already hear the festivities. There is a small, open-air market where I buy a pirate themed bandana and large purse with an elephant on it. Old Town is filled people and the bars are overflowing.

I decide to check out The Stade (a really rocky beach) on the outskirts of Old Town. The Stade is home to the largest beach launched fishing fleet in Europe. It's littered with old, but functional, fishing boats. Next to them is a fish market (mostly closed) and area of multi-colored storage shacks. This entire area is very run down and terribly picturesque. It has a grungy charm that seems to be lost on the locals.  

Next stop is the East Hill, which overlooks Old Town and The Stade. I take the funicular up, it’s only a short distance, but my feet are starting to hurt. The view at the top is amazing. There is a lone vendor selling ice cream and I am so charmed by everything that I cannot help but buy some. I spend the next hour or so walking around the East Hill, which is mostly nature, and taking selfies. The light up here is amazing.

Eventually I make my way back down to Old Town. I keep playing with the idea of going inside one of the bars for a beer, but I can’t really find a good place to sit. It is very crowded. Eventually I settle for making a few laps through town and then heading over to the grocery store. Determined to live like a local I purchase some groceries to cook in my flat. I also grab some beer that I have never heard of. My feet are very, very tired and my plan is to walk back up to my flat, eat a late lunch and then go back to Pirate Fest. As soon as I arrive, however, I realize that I am done for the day. My feet are exhausted. I can see the festival out of my front window and that is good enough for me.

I make my dinner and open up my Pirate Day beer. It’s not great, but I am going to power through it on principal. I spend the next few hours Skyping with friends and family from home. Once I am done with my calls I settle in to complete my binge watching of Bloodline. I have one more week of work in Battle before I fly back to Los Angeles.

It’s a big pile of cold, slimy, naked mussels.

Saturday, July 23rd, 2016

Hastings, UK / Rye, UK

It’s about 9am BST and I am settling in to this time zone nicely. After a wonderful night’s sleep I crawl out of bed to make my American coffee using a French press that I found in my AirBnB kitchen. All week I have been enjoying the effects of jet lag by waking up early and drinking coffee while watching Good Morning Brittan. This morning, however, I have missed the news and the only thing on TV is Murder She Wrote. It’s okay though, the TV is mostly background noise while I sip my coffee and stare out of the window at the English Channel. My AirBnB flat is truly beautiful.

After 2 episodes of Murder She Wrote, I decide to start my day, which will include brunch and a day trip to Rye. I grab my purse and current reading material (Hothouse, by Brian Aldiss) and head down to Old Town. There are a slew of open-air restaurants next to the sea selling all sorts of yummy seafood. I do a few laps before I find one that is not too crowded (but also not too empty). I sit at a small table on the sidewalk and decide on a breakfast of fresh mussels, chips, and Stella Artois (I am so into Hastings right now!).

About 10 minutes later when my food arrives I am surprised to learn that the mussels are served chilled and have already been removed from their shells. It’s a big pile of cold, slimy, naked mussels. It’s a little gross but it’s also okay since beer and french fries make everything better.

From brunch I start the arduous task of finding the main train station in Hastings. After about 20 minutes, I am finally successful. The train to Rye leaves in about 30 minutes. It’s a nice day, so I head outside to wait on the platform. The train station is very small, but it's still not clear which platform I need to stand on. I make my best guess and sit down to read and intermittently play Pokemon. About 10 minutes before the scheduled time, a train pulls up to the platform opposite of me. There is no way that is the train to Rye.

Shit. That was the train to Rye. 

I go back into the station to figure out what to do next. The next train is 45 minutes away. Double shit. I’m already committed to going to Rye today, so I decide to sit and wait. Besides the Pokemon are not going to catch themselves.

Approximately 3 chapters of Hothouse and 4 Pokemon later the next train to Rye arrives, right on time. I successfully board and arrive in Rye 20 minutes later.

Rye is cute and small. The streets are old cobblestone and are very narrow and winding. It’s filled with teeny tiny antique stores and ice cream shops. I feel like a giant here.

I don’t really have a plan so I walk around looking at antiques. There are multiple reasons why I will not buy any antiques here, but I really want to experience Rye and this seems to be the thing to do. After about 30 minutes of shopping I am bored. I buy some overpriced ice cream and sit on a bench to look at the sea.

Around 4:30pm all of the stores are starting to close and the streets are clearing out. I do a few searches on my iPhone on attractions in Rye and cannot find anything else to do. I am starting to wonder why my co-workers sent me here.

Around 5pm I give up and head back to the train station. I end up waiting another 20 minutes for the train.

Back in Hastings I walk to my flat and feel inexplicably exhausted. I decide to order in (King Kabob is getting to know me by now) and continue binge-watching Bloodline. I can not help but feel that today was unfulfilling, but then again all days can’t be winners.

It was overpriced anyway.

Monday, July 11^th, 2016

Hastings, UK / Bexhill, UK

It’s 7am BST and I am waking up extra early to return my rental car before taking a taxi to work in Battle. I use Apple maps to find a gas station next to Enterprise and set the address on my GPS.

My temporary flat is on a hill and the streets to get down to the main road are very narrow. I hold my breath as I navigate down to the main road. I am somehow successful.

The drive to Bexhill is pretty easy compared to the last 2 days. When I pull into the gas station I attempt to pay at the pump, but there is no credit card reader. I go inside to tell the attendant that I want to pay for gas but he does not seem to understand me. We both speak English but neither of us understand each other. Eventually I figure out that he wants me to pay after I pump. I find this very strange, but I am happy to have instructions on how to purchase gas here. 

I pump the gas and the total ends up around £50 (which is almost $80). I feel this is a little steep, but I really have no say in the matter. I return inside to pay and we both laugh at our misunderstanding.

Before I leave the gas station I take one more look at my passenger’s side mirror. The glue is holding and it looks almost as good as new. I make the short drive to Enterprise Rent-a-Car.

I have a quick conversation with the attendant while I return the car and request a cab. I wait patiently inside, while I watch my car go through inspection outside. The crew is just starting to wash it when my cab arrives. I bolt into the cab and make my escape with the rental fully intact.

I feel kind of bad about returning a damaged car but on the other hand, it was pretty overpriced. I sigh one last time and am off to start my work week.  

One red wire and one black wire

Sunday, July 10^th, 2016

Salisbury, UK / Hastings, UK

It’s 8:30am BST and I am waking up from a very bad night’s sleep. My hotel is old and charming, but it is also super hot inside. Air conditioning is something that I definitely take for granted.

I have big plans for the day so I get ready and quickly pack my bag. The hotel serves a hot breakfast for £10, so I make quick stop in the dining room. I serve myself a traditional English breakfast from the breakfast bar and it is terrible. Oh well, I have places to go.

I walk back over to the public parking lot to drop my bag in my car. Next I head to the Salisbury Cathedral where one of the four surviving copies of the Magna Carta will be on display. On the way to the cathedral, I stop off at Starbucks. This is the first Starbucks that I have seen since LA and I am praying that they have half and half. I order a small coffee and am only offered milk and sugar.

When I arrive at the cathedral I learn that it does not open to the public until 11am. It’s okay though, it’s 9:30am and there are a ton of amazing photo opportunities in the area. I spend the next 15 minutes taking photographs of the outside of the cathedral. It turns out that large, immobile buildings make very good subjects. I also take a walk around the courtyard where I find a quaint museum all about Stonehenge. The woman behind the counter sells me an overpriced ticket promising free admission for the rest of the year. Thanks lady.

The Stonehenge museum is adorable. It reminds me of the little museums that you would find in small town America. There is an exhibit on ancient history, a subject on which I clearly need a refresher. There is also an eclectic collection of clothing, art, and dishes. It doesn’t make a whole of sense, but that’s part of the charm. After about 45 minutes of browsing I wander back to the cathedral. They are still closed, but the gift shop has opened. I browse through the shop and purchase a set of coasters. They have little funny British comics on them and will come in handy one day when I actually purchase a coffee table.

At 11am sharp the Cathedral opens to the public and I am one of the first people to enter. The main seating area is gorgeous, complete with stained glass and lots of old art. Eventually, I enter the exhibit area, where there are multiple stations explaining the importance of the Magna Carta. I read everything; my knowledge is embarrassingly limited. Eventually I get to the end of the exhibit, where the 800+ year document is stored in a case, in a tent, guarded by an British docent. I have to duck to enter the tent. Once inside, it takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the light.  The Magna Carta is much smaller than I imagined. The whole document is written on one piece of paper (it’s written in abbreviated Latin). I am in the tent with a few other tourists and there is an awkward silence. I ask the docent a few polite questions about how the document has been preserved but he really doesn't seem to know anything. Great, I have succeeded in making things more awkward. After a few minutes I leave the tent and head back to the car.

It’s almost noon and I have 8 full hours to get to Stonehenge before it closes. I am feeling good about my odds of success.

Upon examining the map I notice that Old Sarum is on the way from Salisbury to Stonehenge. These are ruins from an old Norman castle. It’s as old as Stonehenge, but not as well preserved. I decide to check it out. As I approach I see a guy in a bright green T-shirt that waves at me to stop. He informs me that a fun run is taking place and the road is closed. I ask for an alternate route and he replies that he is from Whales and he doesn’t know. I spend the next 20 minutes looking for another way into Old Sarum before I finally give up.

On to Stonehenge.

I arrive around 1pm. The line at the ticket booth is enormous. I get in line and immediately start trying to figure out a way to buy tickets on my iPhone. After about 15 minutes of research I give up. 30 minutes later, I acquire my ticket. 

Wow. This is definitely more difficult than I thought.

Before heading over to the ruins I take a quick snack break at the café. I grab a coffee and some brownies and sit down to refuel. The food is not very good. I am not surprised.

There are two options to get to Stonehenge from the ticket booth, either walk or take a bus. I opt to walk. The wind is pretty bad, but the landscape is really amazing. There are small rolling hills of wind-swept grass and teeny tiny trees for as far as the eye can see. The walking path is about a mile long and cuts through a field. I see a few cows and am mildly concerned that they will charge at me. Eventually, I am able to see the ruins on the horizon.

As I approach, I somehow take a wrong turn and end up outside of the fencing around the monument. It’s okay though, I am able to get some great long shots of the ruins and the line of people waiting to see it. I attempt a few selfies but am unsuccessful (For the first time in my life, I wish I had a selfie stick.) Next, I retrace my steps and enter the viewing area with everyone else. There is another security fence around the actual stones, which prevents tourists from trying to push them over (something that I have been imagining for the last week). On the bright side, this set up results in some great photographs.

Stonehenge is definitely big. It’s bigger than it looks in pictures and it is way more popular with tourists than I ever imagined. After a few laps I finally get into line for the bus back to the ticketing area.

Upon arrival I spend a few more minutes in the gift shop and then do a quick swing though of the exhibit area which explains how Stonehenge was made. It turns out it was made with pulleys. I find this information both boring and disappointing. I head back to the Mazda station wagon to make the drive back to Hastings.

I am gaining some confidence in my driving abilities, but am still basically terrified. Also, I am getting very hungry, but there is nowhere to stop.

About 20 minutes outside of Hastings I decide that it's time to make my best attempt at reattaching the passenger side mirror, and pull over into a parking lot near an empty warehouse. I find a cleaning cloth for my sunglasses in my purse and buff the mirror and the mirror enclosure to the best of my abilities. To my surprise most of the scuff marks come off. Next I clean the back of the mirror and re attach two loose wires. One is red and one is black. I have no idea which one goes where, so I make a guess. Nothing blows up. 

From here I squirt half a tube of super glue all over the back of the mirror and the enclosure. I press the mirror back into the enclosure and hold it there for 3 full minutes. I am holding my breath the entire time. When I remove my hands, the mirror stays in place.

I climb back into the car and gently drive back to my flat in Hastings. It feels like I have been gone for a full week. Around 8pm I collapse on the couch. I make an online order for King Kabob and wait patiently for glorious food.

I spend the rest of the evening watching Bloodline on Netflix and profusely thanking the car gods that I did not kill anyone.

Oh crap.

Saturday, July 9^th, 2016

Hastings, UK / Salisbury, UK

It’s 11am BST and I am coming up on 12 hours of blissful sleep. My AirBnB flat is cool, dark, and quiet, three adjectives that do not describe my home in the midst of the LA summer. I’m on day 4 of a 3 week trip to the UK to catch up on recruiting for our office in Battle, UK. This is my first day to sleep in and I feel amazing.

Yesterday I booked a rental car for the weekend with the intention of driving to Stonehenge. I am supposed to pick up the car up at 11am, but I am enjoying sleeping so much that I decide to postpone. 

Around 12noon I finally drag myself out of bed and make a cup of coffee. I drink it black since Europe has yet to discover the joy of half and half. I take some time to watch a few videos on how to drive on roundabouts. I am scared but not willing to abandon my plan.

Before I head out I decide to give the rental company a quick call to let them know I running late. As the phone continues to ring I begin to get a sick feeling in my stomach. I quickly Google Enterprise Rent-a-Car in Bexhill and see that they close at 11am. Oh crap.

I call the main line at Enterprise and explain my situation. The girl in the call center is helpful and lets me know that they have a similar (but more expensive) car in Brighton. They will reserve it, but I have to pick it up by 3pm. Okay, no problem. I quickly Google how to get to Brighton and realize it’s 2 hours away. It's 1pm now. Oh crap.

I decided to make a run for it. I call the Hastings Cab company and beg them to drive me to Brighton, they say no and politely suggest that I take the train like any reasonable person would do in the UK. A very accommodating driver takes me to the train station where I buy a ticket to Brighton and hold my breath the entire ride. Eventually in Brighton, I blot off of the train and into another taxi, which begrudgingly drives me about half a block to Enterprise Rent-a-Car. I fly through the door at 3pm sharp.

The staff at the rental car company are very sweet. It may have something to do with the fact that I am renting an absurdly expensive vehicle (it’s the only car available with an automatic transmission). As it turns out, renting a car in the UK is actually easier than renting one in the US. I show the attendant my California driver's license, sign one form and I am shown to my diesel Mazda station wagon. Ah man, this is going to be fun.

I start off by attempting to get into the “wrong” side of the car. Next, it takes the attendant and me a full 5 minutes to find the ebrake release. She also helps me set up the GPS device.

Okay. I take a deep breath. It’s time to go.

Right out of the gate I turn left onto a one-way street. This is strange, but not terrible since I am also on the “wrong” side of the car. My next turn is underneath a small overpass. BANG. My passenger side mirror has slammed into the side of the bridge. I immediately turn left to get off the main road and pull over. I end up driving up a big hill and onto a narrow road into a residential area. Shit. I keep driving. Eventually I find an open spot and clumsily parallel park.

My passenger’s side mirror is pushed up against the car (it's okay though it has a mechanism to fold inwards when hit). I pull it back out with no harm done. Onto the next problem. The mirror is hanging out of the frame and has been bumping up against the side of the car. It’s hanging on by 2 small wires. I follow my instincts and attempt to push the mirror back into the frame using force. I can see that some plastic parts are broken but there is a lot exposed glue and it seems to be sticking. Thank goodness. I climb back into the car, shut the door, and CRASH. The mirror falls out of the frame again.

I climb back out. 

Upon closer examination I determine that the mirror won’t stick back in its original position. I see that the 2 wires connecting it to the frame are easily disconnected. I disconnect them and place the mirror in the glove box. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about this, but I am going to Stonehenge first. More determined than ever I climb back into the car.

I’m now at least twice as scared as I was this morning, but I am also twice as determined. I turn on the car and begin to drive according to the GPS directions. I am going slowly, but not hitting anything.

The roads in Brighton are narrow and scary but there are also a lot of cars so it’s easy to stay in the correct lane. Eventually I get out of town on onto a small farm road that is heading east. This seems easier. Maybe there won’t be very many roundabouts. Only a few minutes later I hit my first one.

I am ready for this. I enter the roundabout driving in a clockwise direction and stay in the outside lane. That lane automatically exits on the first exit, it's okay though, that’s where I wanted to go.

Whew. I can do this.

I continue down the road and hit a seemingly endless stream of roundabouts. For a lot of them I simply need to take the first exit, which is not a problem. However, for a few I need to take the 2nd or 3rd exit. I know that I am supposed to enter on the inside lane and then move to the outside lane when it's time to exit, but I can’t really bring myself to do this. Instead I continue to enter on the outside lane and exit on the first exit. From there I drive down the street, make a U turn, re-enter the roundabout on the outside, and then exit again on the first exit. It’s a time consuming way of making progress. But it’s progress.

I continue down various country roads. I am gripping the steering wheel with 2 hands and have the radio on silent. Stonehenge closes at 8pm and I should be there by 6pm.

Around 6:15pm I arrive at Stonehenge. I cannot believe that I made it. I go to check in and am surprised that the ticketing windows are closed. There is a sign on the outside stating that the last ticket is sold at 6pm. Crap.

Oh well, I am planning on staying in Salisbury and can see it tomorrow.

Soon I am on the road again. Salisbury is only about 30 minutes away and I have already booked a room at the Red Lion Inn. I spend a ridiculously long time trying to figure out where to park the car in Salisbury and eventually found an overnight lot on the outside of town. I spend another 20 minutes trying to figure out how to pay for parking. It turns out to be free.

I make a quick stop at a store on the way to the hotel. I purchase super glue. I am hoping to repair the car mirror before tomorrow evening. A situation that is still giving me great anxiety. 

Around 7:30pm I finally arrive at my hotel. I drop my bag in my room and immediately start looking for a dinner spot. There is a Nandos across the street and I really want to go there, but instead, I pick an old pub from the 1200s called Haunch of Venison. The pub is adorable and the server is unbelievably nice and charming. I sit quietly and read my book while I wait for my venison stew.

After dinner it is getting dark and the town is eerily empty. I decide to go back to my Inn / Pub for an English Guinness. I spend another hour or so working on my laptop and drinking Guinness on the patio. Around 9:30pm I head up to my room for bed.

The Inn is pretty old and even with my window open, it's terribly hot inside. I try my best to sleep. I have a big day planned for tomorrow. It will be Stonehenge Attempt #2.